


i choose us

by airiustide



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Awkward First Times, Character Death, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Marriage, Premature Ejaculation, Romance, Smut, Steam Babies - Freeform, Time Travel, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:33:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27492745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airiustide/pseuds/airiustide
Summary: Zuko wakes up ten years in an alternate future next to the waterbending girl who's name he can't remember and two children she claims is his own. With no clue on how he's landed in the south pole, Zuko concludes that he must gather the pieces in order to return home, back to the past and back to his life in the fire nation.But unexpected feelings claim an unexpected piece of his heart.“How can you look at me like that?” She asks, pulling him from his stupor.Her blue eyes shift over his face, bound by the way he looks at her so intently, so infatuated. This man, who has loved and shared a life with her the past six years. And yet, she feels like she’s sixteen all over again. A sudden bud rose in her chest and blossoms into everlasting longing. Katara remembers this, remembers this exact scenario where Zuko had met her with the same gaze in the Crystal Catacombs so many years ago. Where he had met her with the same gaze in the quiet of his princely chambers and the kiss that silenced her sobs when she did not know if he would make it alive from the injury Azula had given him.Zuko swallows. “Like what?”“Like you’re seeing me for the very first time.”
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 134
Kudos: 376





	1. creature of karma

**Author's Note:**

> always wanted to do a time travel au and im so glad i finally got the courage to do it. domestic zuko living in the south pole is my weakness and i hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it. let me know what you all think!

_“I thought you had changed!”_

_‘I have changed!”_

He repeats this to himself in hopes that it’s as real as he believes in his head. He _has_ changed. The doubt rearing its ugly head over his shoulder is just his imagination and not some venomous creature of karma waiting to strike. 

He’s doing the right thing. He has to be. After all the pain, all the tribulations and the rejection, the spirits had sought to give him everything he’s always wanted and it came in the form of Azula, the last person he thought would ever extend a hand to him. This has to be a sign. For if Azula of all people was offering salvation for his damned soul, then why not his father? The one who had the ability to restore his honor?

If anyone else were in his shoes, they’d understand. It was sensible, it was practical. So why did his Uncle go against him? Why did he have to be so stupid when the opportunity presented itself? No more living under the thumb of another monarchy. No more being a servant to the enemy just to survive. No more stupid tea shop and trying to appease complete strangers who were beneath them. 

Zuko knows his worth, and Azula reminded him of that. Iroh should’ve known his. That’s why the old man is in prison. That’s why he’s getting his just deserves. Zuko chose the logical path and his uncle had made his bed. Iroh forced his hand, he forced the prince to sever their bond. Even though Zuko tries to convince himself of this, why doesn’t the guilt go away? Instead it frustrates him to no end- swelling like a ball in his chest. It makes him angry and he doesn’t even know why. 

He thought being here on Ember Island, away from the politics and away from the stress of returning home, would clear his mind; remind him where he belonged. Now Zuko realizes he’s more out of place here than he’s ever been before. 

“Are you still sulking?”

He turns from his thoughts, from the stretch of ocean in front of him. He can still hear voices in the distance, the party they had sabotaged earlier still in a panic. He’d be delighted to bask in their dismay if not the whirlwind clouding his brain. He’s even less enthused knowing the display he made in front of his sister and her friends. They had seen a side of him he had kept bottled up and now he doesn’t know how to properly look at anyone. 

“Weren’t you going to bed, Mai?” He asks, clearly in no mood for company. There’s still tension in the air between them. 

She shrugs, standing next to him without a glance or ounce of concern. “Can’t sleep when it’s easy to see you standing here gawking at the ocean. It’s hard to miss your signature pout.”

Zuko frowns. “Thanks for the words of comfort.” He’s pretty sure his sister and Ty Lee were spying as well. 

Mai sighs. “What do you want me to say? I’m not going to baby you, Zuko. Don’t forget that I’m still mad at you for the attitude you displayed today.”

“Yeah, you’ve made that clear multiple times.” Zuko picks up a seashell and tosses it in the water, his attempt to skip it only results in it smacking flat against the surface before sinking. 

She remains indifferent to his shortness, only arching a brow and crossing her arms. “I’m willing to let you make it up to me.”

Sometimes it’s hard for him to know what to say around Mai. She’s beautiful, a skilled fighter and obviously too good for him; while Mai seems to have a clear understanding of her role and everything she stands for, Zuko can’t even figure out a sliver of himself. And shocking of all, she wants him. Zuko who disgraced his father and nation. Zuko who was a traitor and fugitive. Zuko who bore a scar for the rest of his life, signifying those misdeeds. How can he complain? Still, he feels less and less like himself, like the person he thought he was or wanted to be. Being home should have fixed that. Shouldn’t it? 

“Why are you here anyway? If you’re just going to put me down, then go back inside.”

“Geez, you are so sensitive. You’re acting like a child, you know. Heaven forbid, anyone is mature enough to be real with you.”

Zuko’s eyes dimmer, his shoulders slump and he’s feeling so much weight over nothing, nothing he can figure out.

Mai decides to ignore the grimace contorting his face, coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his waist and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Let’s not do this, Zuko. We can start where we left off before Azula interrupted us. You seemed pretty into it.” 

He looks over to see a rare smile present itself on her lips, and for a brief second, that made him happy. To be wanted by Mai, it makes him so damn happy. It’s not enough. He doesn’t even know what enough looks like.

“Maybe tomorrow.” He mutters, turning back to the ocean, the moonlight reflecting in the water. 

Mai rolls her eyes. “Suit yourself.” Then quietly retreats back to the beach house.

* * *

He replays that scene in his head again. The one with the waterbender and her piercing, white hot anger- her sharp blue gaze burned an image forever haunting. _I thought you changed. I have changed._

Why does it bother him? Why can’t he sleep or eat or breath without it picking and prodding at him from every possible angle. That waterbender be damned. How dare she plant a seed of doubt in his mind. What did she know? She can judge him all she wants. Her opinion means nothing to him. Nothing. It’s over. The avatar is dead. 

_No he’s not._

Of course he is. He was struck down in front of Zuko’s very eyes. Many had witnessed his downfall. Forget the fact that it shocked him to no end. Forget the fact that he never wanted to actually kill the Avatar. He can wipe his hands clean of this because it was all Azula’s fault. No burden or blood to trace the horrific event back to him. 

_Lies. You would have done anything to retrieve your honor. You may not have killed the avatar but you played a direct hand in it and even took the credit to save your pathetic self. You know it to be true. The Avatar is alive._

How?

_You know how. Because of_ her.

Because of her...the blue eyed beauty who offered to lift the burden of his past from his face. Her gentle touch and gentle words, soothing like that of her element; her caress like medicine. For all that he couldn’t stand about her, though he barely knew her, Zuko held a sense of admiration. She was a worthy opponent, and he respects that, but she’s still the enemy. That’s what he told himself when he betrayed her and his Uncle. 

Zuko clicks his tongue, flipping on his side and kicking the sheets off his bed. Suddenly they’re too uncomfortable, the silk making his skin crawl like snakes. 

He claws at the front of his tunic as though there’s this slithering pain coursing through his chest. No matter how many times he tries to convince himself that he’s made the right decision, he still can’t place it. He still can’t get the image of his Uncle being apprehended and sheer disappointment on his face. Or the image of the Avatar convulsing with lighting or the image of the waterbender’s tear stained face as she holds him in her arms. 

He knows that look from anywhere. 

_Mom_. He thinks. Would she ever be proud of the man he became? If she’d seen him now, will she accept the fact that he was responsible for someone losing their life because he chose the easy way out? 

Zuko isn’t sure what feels worse, being a traitor to his nation or betraying the very people who actually gave a damn about him, even when at his lowest. 


	2. the air cuts like glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko isn't where he was last night. There's a stranger in his bed but she knows his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the lovely comments <3\. im really enjoying writing zuko adapting to the south pole and it all gets so much better. for those who might be wondering, i had received inspiration to write this fic after recently rewatching The Family Man film from (2002?)

It seems like the sun rose too soon. He can feel it in his veins, urging his muscles to move. Zuko pinched his eyelids tight, licking his lips and flexing his fingers. It’s a new day, the demons occupying every corner of his thoughts scurries to the back of his mind as day breaks, though knowing full well they will return with a force once night fell. The first thing he thinks of his girlfriend. He had been such an ass to Mai and they had another two days here on the island before returning to the palace. 

The palace. How he dreads the suffocation awaiting his arrival among a world he wasn’t completely sure he belonged. But he _needs_ to belong. He _needs_ to survive. That’s what Zuko was always good at doing, surviving. 

With a heavy sigh, he figures it’s time to get up, do some katas and make the best of this trip. First things first, he needed to block out that ungodly snoring those two old hags were making in the other room. It echoed in his own quarters, so close Zuko thinks he feels it on his flesh and it grinds his teeth on edge. 

Blinking awake, Zuko notes that the room looks much different than he remembers. Granted, he isn’t used to staying in Li and Lo’s beach house, he doesn’t recall the artifacts hanging on the walls...or the animal skin, or the fur curled beneath his fingers. It doesn’t exactly hit him that this isn’t Ember Island until...

“Mmm, five more minutes, Zuko.” 

He’s frozen still, staring dumbfounded at the familiar face of a waterbender whose head is resting on his chest, snoring horrifically with her cheek resting against bare skin. She smacks her lips and hums, turning over to sling her arm around his waist, tossing her wild, brown hair across his torso. 

Zuko’s eyes darted around the room, slowly dawning on him that this is not the bedroom he last laid his head in. In fact, he doesn’t recall it being cold. Why is it so damn cold? He’s taken aback by his state of dress; half naked with only a pair of navy blue trousers hanging just below his waist. Never mind the clothes he’s wearing, how he got here was the bigger question. In his state of confusion he notices the ugly star shaped scar on his chest, puffy and red much like the one on his face but the degree of it looked far worse. Zuko’s careful to touch it and when he does, he realizes that it is real and not a figment. 

Panic rises, every terrible outcome he can think of runs through his mind, from kidnapping to his father finding out Zuko wasn’t the hero he thought he was, hence the new scar. Until the waterbender whose name he doesn’t remember caresses his chest, delicate fingers brushing his scar and he’s stunned to see her not recoil, but instead, kiss it. “Hmm, you’re moving too much. Please don’t make me get up early again, Zuko. You know the kids wake up-“

“Today’s the solstice!” Announces a tiny voice.

“-with the sun.” She finishes with a whine, grumbling under her breath as she forces herself to sit up. 

Barging through an animal skin curtain, a little girl of about five comes carrying a baby in her tiny arms. The waterbender huffs, blowing a stray strand of her wild hair from her face and smiles tiredly at Zuko. “Too late. Okay, who’s ready for the day!” 

“Me, Me, Me! And Ursa too!”

Zuko snaps his gaze at the two girls. One, who carried a slight paleness and blue eyes smiled directly at him. Her hair is chocolate, yet carried the same shine and straightness of his own. The younger one, a baby who hadn’t seem to learn to walk yet let alone speak, had his eyes. Though her skin was darker than her elder sister’s, there was no mistaking how she carried the same resemblance to his mother. He’s starting to feel himself waiver, his stomach somersaulting. He had to get out of here! He had to get home!

Zuko jumps out of bed, heart racing as he tries to gather whatever clothes are spread out on the floor to cover his naked torso. Where were his things? He hisses when his bare feet touch the floor, instinctively raising his body temperature to combat the biting cold. “My shoes! Where are my shoes!”

“By the bedside, where you always leave them, silly. Kya, sweetie, bring your sister to me so I can change her before daddy gets started on breakfast.”

“You-you don’t get it. I’m not supposed to be here!” Zuko shouts. 

She stares incredulously at Zuko. “Did you forget to pick up something at the market? If so, it’s too late, all the shops are closed for the event."

For fuck sakes! 

Zuko doesn’t have time to explain. He snatches the brown, furred boots sitting at the bedside. “Ugh, why won’t these fit?”

Everyone but him starts to laugh. “Because those are mommy’s.” The one called Kya giggles, retrieving a pair of larger boots and running up to Zuko to hand them to him. Her eyes are bright, the sparkle encrusted in her giant blue orbs are all too familiar. “Here daddy!” She’s looking right at him and Zuko can’t respond. Kya’s smile fades and Zuko sees her expression slowly turn to confusion. 

He snatches the boots and storms out the only door he can find. Wind and snow knocks the air out of him, skirting him off his feet and causing him to land hard on his back. “Ow.” He draws out in a long groan, nursing the back of his head.

“Are you crazy! It’s below zero! Don’t run out of the house without your parka!” The waterbender stands at the front door of the hut, Ursa on her hip with a gummy smile and Kya hidden behind her night dress with wide eyes. “And don’t think about sneaking away to get a drink with my brother so early in the morning again. I barely forgave you for last year. I swear, you and Sokka…”  The waterbender turns on her heels back into the house, mumbling under her breath.

Zuko scrambles to his feet, running in the opposite direction of the hut into what looks like a village up ahead. There was no time to explore how he got here. He had to get back to the Fire Nation and fast. 

* * *

He should have grabbed that stupid parka. The wind and snow made it hard to concentrate on his bending, Zuko’s fingers and toes quickly growing numb. The snow is at least a foot deep and Zuko’s in such hysteria, tripping and falling consistently until he reaches the town where the streets are plowed and easier to walk on. 

Zuko’s first instinct is to head to the docks where boats are posted. Maybe there’s a Fire Nation ship waiting for him but to his dismay, there’s none. Zuko seizes up, he’s losing his breath and the cold air burns his throat. Had he been abandoned? Did his father send him away? Or was this all a bad dream?

He’ll have to escape on a boat. The only problem was the docks were crowded with men, all watertribe. Agni, help him if he was a prisoner on this slab of ice. But the thought wasn’t as odd as the greetings he was receiving from every one of them he passed by. Some even clapping him on the shoulder.

“Mornin’, Zuko.”

“Hey, Zuko! Was’n expectin’ ya out taday.”

“Do the misses know you're out? Hah! Better not have Katara catching you out drinking with Sokka so early in the mornin’.”

Everything is spinning. He really had been abandoned. “Uncle.” Zuko murmurs, utter fear taking over. One more clap to the shoulder and he loses it, crying out a roar from his mouth and shooting flames from his fingertips. Everyone flinches.

“Whoa! Hey, there, buddy! What’s the problem?” He recognizes that irksome voice. It’s the water tribe boy...or so he used to be- the person jogging towards him is a burly man. Zuko takes a step back when he approaches him. “What are you doing here? Katara is freaking out!”

Katara? That was her name. How could he forget after hearing the Avatar shout it so many times. But that was the least of his problems. Maybe this guy will be more reasonable. “Look, I need to get back to the Fire Nation. If you lend me one of your boats, my father will pay you handsomely and no harm will come to your village.”

There’s an awkward pause before Sokka bursts out laughing, throwing an arm around Zuko's neck and hugging his side. “That’s a good one, Zuko! Are you and Katara doing that freaky role play thing again? You know how that creeps me out.”

“You don’t understand! It’s important I-“

“Come. Let’s head to my place before you freeze to death. What made you run out without a parka is beyond me.”

* * *

“Drink this. That’ll wet your whistle.” 

Zuko shivers, hugging the blanket Sokka lent him tighter around his person. He reluctantly accepts the saucer, blinking fast at the clear liquid inside.

“Just got it from the Earth Kingdom. Turns out, it’s stronger than your precious firewhiskey. It’s harsh down your throat, but man, it’ll warm you up real fast.”

That’s all Zuko needs to hear, bringing the saucer to his lips and throwing his head back. He chokes, the liquid burning down his throat. “Gah! The hell did you give me?”

“Told ya.” Sokka wiggles his eyebrows. 

“What’s all the commotion here?”

“Suki!” Sokka exclaims. He laughs nervously, hiding the bottle of liquor behind his back. A very pregnant Suki enters from the back of the hut. 

“It’s morning Sokka, what are you doing?”

“Just helping my guy, Zuko, out here. He's had a rough day.”

“You’re the Kyoshi Warrior.” Zuko recognizes. She’s aged. They all aged. Nothing about this makes sense. Was there some kind of spirit magic at work? Is Agni punishing him? 

Suki shoots the fire prince a glare. “Nice to see you too, Zuko. Sorry to cut your merriment short but Katara is literally crying wondering where her husband is. She says you ran out in a panic and now she’s worried.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll leave in a minute.”

Suki crosses her arms. “Now. Sokka.” 

“Okay. Sheesh. Guess you’re heading back home then, man.”

Home. This wasn’t his home. What does he do, what does he say? These people know his name but when they speak it, they are referring to a completely different Zuko. Maybe this was the spirits doing. None of this was a dream and Zuko’s pinched himself more times than he counted. Perhaps if he figures it out, he can find his way back to Mai, his home, his life, and put all this behind him.

* * *

“I know how rough it is, buddy.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re going through a midlife crisis. You’re married, a stay at home dad to two daughters. Giving up your title and cushy lifestyle. All for what? A measly hut in the middle of the snow?”

“You’re not exactly helping.” Zuko scowled. 

“You see, I get it. If I were in your shoes, I don't think I could've done what you did. I’ll never understand what made you turn down the position of Fire Lord.”

He what?! Zuko would never consider such a thing. It was his destiny, his right! 

“But I can get why. Katara is one of a kind. She’s strong and smart. Kind of takes after me, doesn’t she?”

“I doubt that.”

“I know I didn’t approve of your relationship before but after what you did for her...I can never thank you enough. You’ve proven yourself time and time again and I know that it doesn’t seem like much, but you truly are fortunate.” They stop, the hut Zuko had run from earlier right in front of them. “Don’t let whatever is bothering you get in the way of what you’ve built. This is the happiest I’ve seen either of you. You may have let go of your title, but you’ve gained a family. Life is funny like that sometimes, you told me once. Don’t forget that, buddy.”

Sokka gives his goodbye, leaving a tense Zuko staring at the door of his supposed home, with nowhere else to turn. 

* * *

“What has gotten into you?” Katara shoves her husband. 

Zuko grits his teeth, biting back the urge to snap. 

“I was worried! The girls were worried! I went to my brother’s after you ran off like that and when you weren’t there, I thought-“ Katara sobs in a handkerchief, shaking uncontrollably. 

Oh, no. He’s not good with crying, especially if it’s girls. “I-I’m sorry?” 

“Damn right, you are.” Katara throws the handkerchief at him. “Don’t you ever make me worry like that again. You could have froze to death, Zuko.”

“Mommy?” Kya peaks around an animal skin curtain that Zuko can only presume is another room. 

“Kya, sweetie, not now. We’ll call you out when me and Daddy are done talking.” Katara shoos the little girl away. 

Once Kya disappears, Zuko approaches Katara with his hands thrown in the air. “You don’t get it. None of this is my fault. I don’t belong here and I’m not the guy you think I am!”

“Real mature.” She scoffs. “First, give your kids and wife a scare then act like it’s not your fault? Congrats Zuko, you’ve managed to be a complete ass.” 

“What did you say to me?” He snarled. How dare she call him out of his name! He was a prince, heir to the throne. The Zuko this water peasant thinks he is must've been out of his damn mind to have developed an attraction towards her. She’s short tempered and a know-it-all. 

“You heard me. Don’t think you’re off the hook. I told dad we’d meet him later and you're wet from head to toe. Now get ready.”

Zuko’s going to lose his shit. There’s a thorn in his side, and her name is Katara. 

* * *

They set off for the night. Zuko’s disappointed to find that the only attire available to him is watertribe. Nothing about this place is accommodating. The bath water is cold, the clothing material subpar and the food absolutely bland. 

That isn’t what truly bothers. What frightens him the most was the face reflecting in the mirror. His features are harder, sharper than that of a eighteen year old boy. He had grown well over six feet tall, and sitting there right below his chest is that star shaped scar. Zuko had examined it. Hissing, not because it stung, but because something about it felt so familiar. Dreadful. 

Behind his eyelids lightning sparks. Zuko’s muscles convulse and white light shoots out from nowhere. He quickly opens his eyes, nearly doubling over. A rotting sickness sunk low in his stomach and Zuko felt like he was going to empty his meal. Not that the food set well anyways. 

It’s obvious this world is some sort of glimpse. A warning? A peek into the future? Who knows. Whatever this was he’d need to gather as much information as possible in order to get back home. The first he requires is the outcome of the war and where his father and sister were. Either one or two things had happened: the Fire Nation lost and Zuko had been forced into an arranged marriage. Or the Fire Nation won and Zuko had been forced into an arranged marriage. But then that cancels out what Sokka said earlier about him giving up his right to the throne. 

Overthinking wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He needs to suck it up and tolerate as much of this place as possible in order to survive. 

Katara asked him if he was okay after he readies himself and meets her in the kitchen. He doesn’t answer and that seems to upset her. 

“Fine.” She sighs heavily, and hands a drooling Ursa to him.

“Wha- What am I supposed to do with this?” His face contorts in repulsion. Ursa finds it funny, giggling hysterically and kicking her small feet. 

“Very funny.” Katara says, kneeling in front of Kya to secure her parka for their departure. “Just get the sling so we can get going.”

“Sling? Like a weapon?”

She stares at him concerningly. “The baby sling, Zuko. Save your jokes for the festival tonight with my dad. I, on the other hand, am still upset with you.” 

_ Weren’t they all. _ Zuko rolled his eyes. It’s a never ending cycle with women, they can’t seem to stand him. 

Katara retrieves the wrap hanging on the wall and hands it to Zuko. He attempts to figure out how to put it on, first wrapping it around baby Ursa then getting it stuck around his neck and under his right arm. There’s snickering as he tangles himself further. 

“What’s so damn funny!” 

“Oh, Zuko.” She helps remove the wrap from around his neck and secures it over his shoulders. “I love you, and one thing you know about me is that I can’t stay mad at you for long.” Katara slips over to his side, titling his face towards hers so she can stand on her tips toes and capture his mouth. 

Zuko lost his train of thought. Her lips came and went before he could process it and the scar on his chest thrums. 

“Let’s go, shall we?”

They trek across the snow towards the village ahead. The place is alight, lanterns and smoke can be seen from a distance, the smell of food wafting in the air. The whole walk there Kya wouldn’t stop staring at him. Her blue eyes wide and anxious, clinging to Katara from the other side. Zuko tries to ignore it but he cannot shake her curious stare, instead, he concentrates on his footing while balancing a baby strapped to his chest. 

Ursa. He doesn’t know what to make of her. The resemblance to his mother is uncanny, making Zuko’s heart squeeze painfully. He can’t stop looking at her- her dark curls and beaming gaze. She’s a happy baby. Zuko can’t deny that she’s adorable even after already being spit up on along the way to the festival. Somewhere deep within him, his fatherly instincts emerge and he’s wiping the spit-up off Ursa’s chin with his sleeve without a second thought, and in return he earns a gummy smile. 

“Grandad!” Kya shrieks, darting off and jumping into the arms of a sturdy water tribe man, falling backwards into the snow.

“There’s my Kya! Oof! So big and strong. Grandad might not be able to carry you anymore.” Hakoda booms, lifting Kya above his head. 

“Hey, dad.” Katara laughs, lifting her daughter off the Chieftain so he could brush himself off. 

“Hi, sweetie.” Hakoda stands up to give her a side hug and plants a kiss on Katara’s forehead. “And if it isn’t my son-in-law! Good game of pai sho last week, Zuko, next time let’s lessen the betting amounts.”

“Dad!”

Hakoda ignores her, coming up to pinch baby Ursa’s cheeks. 

“Um. Hi- To you, I mean.” Zuko searches his memories, wondering when he had met the fellow. 

Hakoda arches a brow, “You alright? Starting to sound like the time you asked my permission to court Katara after I learned she was pregnant. Six years and two kids later, you’re suddenly bashful? Come on, son, loosen up.” The older man reaches in his satchel for a flask and passes it to Zuko.

Zuko stares at the flask, some of the pieces coming together. It starts to make sense now. The Zuko from this timeline must’ve had relations with the waterbender, meaning he had to do the honorable thing and marry her. That still doesn’t explain why he would be here, instead of the Fire Nation where it was sensible for a family of royal blood to live. Then he remembers Sokka mentioning how he had given up his title. It couldn't be possible that Zuko came here by choice. 

As not to be rude, he takes a small sip, trying to hide the disgust with a wrinkled smile and Hakoda seems to accept that. 

While they head to the center of the festival, Zuko hugs Ursa close, overwhelmed by unfamiliar faces and unfamiliar territory. They greet him casually, smiles and cheeriness all around. They begin to blur, clunk like molten blobs. To everyone else, Zuko is a strong willed twenty-eight year old man with a good head on his shoulders, but truthfully, he was still just an eighteen year old boy without a clue. 

_ Don’t let your guard down.  _ The demons return, coming back to poke at him once again now that dark has cloaked the land.  _ They are the enemy. Never forget what you’ve done to them. _

What he had done. 

_ I thought you changed! _

_ I have changed! _

He stills at the gentle touch of someone’s hands. Zuko's eyes meets Katara’s, a smile radiating from her lips and he’s struck by her presence. The demons scatter quickly, as though the light of her aura frightened them back into the depths of his broken self. 

“Are you excited, my love?” She whispers, leaning close so that their shoulders are linked side by side as they continue through the festival; people alight with celebration. Candles and lanterns light the way leading up to an extravagant long table. It was adorned with food of all kinds, ice sculptures and animal bone and fur. 

Zuko remembers how to breathe, staring intensely at his wife- no, not his wife, another Zuko’s wife. Yet her words were impassioned, so strong that it had a strange affect on his body. The man who was really her other half must truly love her, because Zuko reacts with every touch, every time their gaze met, or even from the slightest thought of her. Has she always been this beautiful?

He can only nod, his throat too closed up to speak and her hand comes to wrap around his and he returns the squeeze in turn, knowing damn well this wasn’t right. 

“Remember our first winter solstice?” Katara beams, biting her lower lip and glancing over at Kya to be sure the little girl wasn’t listening in. “We made love behind Panuk’s hut because we couldn’t get to our place fast enough?” 

The blood drained from Zuko’s face, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. She giggles, tugging him along. 

Hakoda gestures that they seat themselves at the end of the table, it’s from this that Zuko learns that his father-in-law is chieftain.  _ Wonderful _ , he had married a leader’s daughter and he’s becoming even more convinced that his luck is getting worse and worse. Suki arrives, seating herself next to Katara and the waterbending master let’s go of his hand to turn her attention to the Kyoshi warrior. The absence of warmth oddly left a hole in him.

“Zuko, why so sour?” Hakoda booms. “Eat! Have a drink.”

“Sorry. I guess I’m not myself today.”

“I’ll say.” Sokka shows up, dragging a large sack over his shoulder, dumping it on the ground to reveal fireworks. “By the way, thanks for hooking the tribe up with some killer fireworks. The Fire Nation has some pretty cool stuff, I can’t wait to try them all!” 

The young tribesman requests a drink, making a nearby group of men cheer and passing a bottle to him. Sokka swings it back, handing it over to Zuko when done.

“Umm, I don’t think it’s a good idea to handle those while under the influence.” Zuko warns. He can only see this going wrong. 

“Don’t worry. I have a high tolerance to alcohol, it's all good.”

Zuko and Hakoda share a troubled look. “Son, why don’t we focus on the celebration first then we’ll see where the night takes us.”

“Well, that’s no fun…” Sokka mumbles. 

“Say, Zuko, after the gathering, how about I take the girls and you enjoy the evening with the guys. I’ll catch up with you when it’s all over.” Katara offers, brushing back Ursa’s curly hair, the little girl giggling uncontrollably and burying her snot nose face in her father’s parka. Katara places a chaste kiss on Zuko’s cheek and the thrum returns. She’s having an affect on him, the slightest touch enough to ignite the fire on his skin. “Don’t let him do anything stupid. For the girls' protection, we’ll keep our distance.” 

Zuko turns a shock white. “You’re leaving me with  _ him _ ?” 

“Alright! Guys night out!” Sokka emphasized with a thumbs up. 


	3. leave it all behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko encounters the culprit behind everything, vaguely given the information he needs to complete whatever journey he is on in order to return home. In the mean time, he must learn what it takes to be a father and husband, all while fighting a battle within himself and the strong feelings Katara's slowly drawing from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe how many people are on board with this concept and im happy you guys are willing to go on this journey with me. thank you for the encouraging comments and the excitement you guys are showing me to continue this.

He doesn’t care for the goofy water tribe boy. Sokka’s over enthusiasm drives into Zuko like nails to chalkboard and it’s a wonder the other man had survived the war. Zuko chocks it up to sheer stubbornness because no matter how many times he tries to excuse himself, the other man is insistent. All the while, faces he does not recognize try to engage him in conversation. He can’t follow, let alone understand their references. The awkwardness of not knowing these people turns out to be more painful than the fact that these were his enemies and if given a chance ten years ago, would have his head on a spear. 

For the life of him, he can’t figure out how this Zuko managed to become friends with these men. They’re boisterous, vulgar and find humor in the expulsion of human bodily functions. The only thing that helps him pass the time was the bottle of liquor being passed around in a circle by the fire and the slight distraction that comes with being surrounded by others who lack any filter. 

“A sip?” One of them points out when it’s Zuko’s fourth turn to drink. He’s gray, hairline receding with the top half tied in a wolf’s tail like most of the warriors here. Being on the spot provoked him to eye the older man with disdain. “What are ya? A delicate flower? Take a real drink.” 

“Aye. Must be one of those etiquette things they teach ya at the royal palace. Thought we knocked that out of ya already.” Another chuckles. 

“Lighten up, guys. We all know our man, Zuko, here can drink all of you under the table.” Sokka mentions, nudging Zuko in the rib to his annoyance. 

“Benefits of a firebender.” Another says. “Jus’ cause he can burn through the alcohol faster don’ mean he can drink ya under the table.” 

“Says you, Sesuk. You couldn’t even get through the first bottle before Zuko got a buzz. 

Sesuk frowns. “Like I said. Wouldn’t ‘ave happened if he weren’t no firebender. That’s a’ unfair advantage and I woulda won jus’ fine.” He crosses his arms with a huff. 

Sesuk hasn’t taken his eyes off Zuko since he arrived, shooting daggers that would make men smaller than his size crumble. Too bad for him, Zuko wasn’t intimidated by a man’s size.

Sokka leans into Zuko, a goofy grin plastered on his face and Arctic wine on his breath. “He’s mad because he was trying to impress a couple of girls the first night he challenged you and they left after he nearly passed out.”

“Like they were there for Sesuk in the first place. They were only interested because there was new dick in town, don’t try to downplay it, Sokka. Sesuk’s just mad because Zuko was getting all the attention.” Kaliq, the man with the receding hairline, corrects. “The single ones take a liking to newcomers. Nothing like fresh cock.”

“Fresh cock?” Zuko questions. 

Laughter roared around the fire, save Sesuk who just scowled, his piercing gaze laid heavily on Zuko. The Fire Nation prince can only assume they’re not on good terms. Whatever the case, he’s not at all interested in Sesuk’s problem, ignoring the hole burning in his direction. 

“You know, foreign meat?”

“New blood?”

“One night ride on the Fire Nation air balloon.”

“Tying the dragon knot.”

“Launching the eel-hound.” 

“Squat thrusting in the sparring ring.”

Zuko’s face turns a beet red, now processing the group’s euphemisms, his ears bombarded with sexual innuendos in regards to the women here wanting to have a go at him. He’s heard this kind of talk amongst his crew before but he’s never participated and frankly he’s never wanted to. Carrying the title of prince was a clear indication to separate himself from such vulgar exchange and accompanying people below his status. 

“I’m with Katara.” He states matter of factly, hoping that he wasn’t promiscuous in this timeline as well.

“Didn’t stop ya from getting eyefucked.” They all laughed again. 

“Pay no attention.” Sokka waves a hand in dismissal, throwing back the flask when it was his turn. “They expected you to be some stuck up prince who got all the girls. Pfft, how wrong they were. You’re as smooth as a rigid sword, buddy.”

“Thanks.” Zuko grit. 

“Well how else would you get a catch like Master Katara? After all, she was with the Avatar before you. No one could compete unless…” Sesuk suggests with a drunken smirk. 

“That’s enough!” Sokka shouted, standing from his seating position. “You’re crossing the line, Sesuk.”

“Unless someone got her pregnant.” Zuko finishes. Everyone falls silent, casting their eyes away from him. Sokka opens his mouth to say something but closes it, slowly sitting back down. There’s no hiding that even his brother-in-law also had the same idea. 

“That was a long time ago. No one thinks that way anymore. We all know how much you and Katara care about each other.” Sokka clarifies. 

So, he wasn’t good enough compared to the Avatar unless he knocked her up? Granted, he gathered the same- their marriage built on the foundation of Zuko having to do the honorable thing, but being compared to the Avatar burned him. The relentless scorn he harbored towards the airbender surfaced once again. He’s always struggled and fought, paving his own way and that’s what made him strong. Not only is he thought less of compared to his sister and the Avatar but even the watertribe girl. Zuko wasn’t oblivious of what a prodigy she was, yet he feels less inclined to believe any good truly came from this marriage if he was nothing even standing next to his own spouse. 

“Zuko, he didn’t mean it that way-” Another tribesman speaks up. 

“I sure did.” Sesuk interrupts. “Let’s not overlook who ya are or where ya came from. Might ’ave fooled everyone with yer ‘transformation’ but ya ‘aven’t fooled me. Ya got lucky, nothin’ more.”

Luck? Is this man so insecure about Zuko’s presence that’s the best insult he could come up with? Perhaps he isn’t the best man out there for her. Hell, Zuko still couldn’t fathom how he managed to fancy Mai’s attention or even receive a kiss from a random Earth Kingdom girl who actually thought he looked attractive in a tea shop apron- regardless, he will not let a lowlife like Sesuk make him feel undeserving even if it might be true that Zuko was. 

“Maybe it is luck that someone like Katara would ever look my way, let alone have romantic feelings for me.” Zuko doesn’t know a damn thing about Katara but he can see in the other man’s eyes the undeniable envy. “It must be bothersome, huh? That the enemy with half his face burned off has the pleasure of lying in bed with a woman probably well out of his league. But at the end of the day, I know who’s waiting at home for me. Who the hell do you have?”

Everyone held their breaths in stunned silence, glancing at one another until someone broke the tension. “His mom.” Kaliq snorts, starting another round of thunderous laughter. Sesuk, looking betrayed and shooting up from his seating position, stormed off. 

“Jeez, he can be an outright jerk sometimes.” Sokka dismisses with the flick of his wrist. “He does this every time and gets put back in his place. No wonder he hasn’t found a wife.”

No, it’s deeper than that. Zuko thinks. 

The alcohol isn’t doing enough good for him to stick around. Sokka and the other men shout after him when he storms off but their cries are distorted, fading in the distance. 

* * *

He’s unconcerned when he hears the front door of the hut open and a giddy Kya running in, chatting away to her mother about how many treats she had gotten from the festival and how big the fireworks were this year compared to last. Zuko’s sitting at the table, idle and indifferent to the sound of his wife and children. 

“Zuko?” Katara calls out, her voice ringing in the darkened house, curious as to why there’s no fire. “Why are you home early?”

She’s answered with a stir, his gold eyes peering at her then shifting to the other side of the house. Katara isn’t sure, but when her husband glanced her way, his eyes held a hint of resentment. She shudders, hugging Ursa tighter, and proceeds to tell Kya to get ready for bed. “We didn’t see you for the Fireworks. Is everything alright?” 

“Fine.” 

“It’s cold. Can you start a fire?”

Flames erupt in the hearth and Katara flinches, jumping back. Kya, witnessing this once changed into her night dress, makes a tiny squeak and runs back to her room. Zuko is short. Katara turns on her heels and attempts to demand to know what his problem is. She has a change of heart seeing her husband's figure slumped and unresponsive. 

“I’ll put the girls to bed.” She announces, leaving Zuko alone once again and he’s actually grateful for that. 

Even as an adult, Zuko is a disappointment. Agni forbid there’s a point in his life where he has it all figured out- less so, being he hasn’t a clue on why he’s here or the purpose behind it. Nothing against Katara, but this isn’t the future he envisioned and he’s worse at this than before he woke up here. 

“I take it your night didn’t go well.” She guesses. Katara takes a seat beside him unnoticed. There goes that thrumming- beating faster, moving like sparks along his skin. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” He replies flatly. 

“No? Okay, we don’t have to. If you’d prefer, you can put out the fire and we can sit in the dark together.”

Silence. He’s protesting, speaking out against the outrage of his ordeal. Sort of. In all honesty, he doesn’t know how to act around Katara. They’re alone for the first time since he’s come here, and they weren't exactly on good terms before. 

She hums a tune, her head on his shoulder. Zuko’s shoulders go stiff, now aware of her proximity and the heat of her body resting on his. The awkwardness builds in his throat and he forgets how to swallow, afraid he’ll choke. This goes on for a while, until Katara’s humming starts to become a little louder and a bit obnoxious.

“You said we were going to sit here quietly.” He says, finally giving her his attention as he snaps his head in her direction. 

“No, I said we’ll sit here together. In this house, there’s no such thing as quiet.” She comments, a smile teasing her lips. 

Zuko forgets himself. Suddenly, it feels like a stampede of rhinos had run over him. Her smile, they reach her eyes. Round and shimmering in the firelight. They radiate a blue he’s only had the pleasure of seeing once before- in the catacombs where the crystals made them look almost transparent. This. The Katara now...she has always been a beautiful girl but as a woman, she’s absolutely stunning. 

“It’s Sesuk, isn’t it?”

He quirks a brow. “I take it you’re aware.”

Katara shrugs. “I don’t know the exact details of what happened today, Sesuk’s just known for being quite the prick.”

“Tell me about it.” Zuko scoffs. Not exactly what he’s concerned about but he'd be lying if he said that Sesuk’s words didn’t eat at him. “The man’s got a death wish, if you ask me.”

“Might want to get in line, no one’s a fan of Sesuk, and vice versa.” 

“Really? Because he had it out for me. The guy clearly doesn’t like me.”

“Aww.” Katara combs her fingers through his hair and he practically melts. Why did his body react of its own accord? “What’s there not to like?”

“Plenty. I’m awful.” Zuko remarks. 

She laughs, a sweet chime that provokes a blush to suffuse on Zuko’s cheeks and he comes to find he likes her laugh. Better than the memory of her tear stained face, he supposes. _No, you’re not out of the water. You’ll always have that guilt._

“I like you.” She confirms, a sing-song playing in her voice as she continues to caress his hair. His eyes flutter close. Dammit, why can’t he pull away?

“Don’t patronize me.” He murmurs, failing to relay his annoyance in place of a soft groan. 

She stops, cupping both sides of his face. The playfulness halts, she’s captured him with that strange feeling flapping in his stomach again. “I would never. I love you, Zuko. And your daughters too, never forget that. Okay?” She leans in, tilting her head just so, lips parting softly.

He does the same, unintentionally drawn to her lovely gesture and heartfelt words. Why? Why does she love him? There’s so many questions, that he can’t settle on only one. No one’s loved him. Every event in his life has proven the opposite. His father, his sister, even his mother; because who leaves their child without a trace? No, who Zuko was or whatever destiny laid before him, love will never follow. He is not this Zuko, he is not this man who seemingly deserves it. 

_You are a disgrace._

He removes her hands from his face. “I can’t.” He tells her, slipping from her embrace and leaving her bewildered.

* * *

Zuko almost kissed her. He almost kissed a married woman while inadvertently betraying Mai. What has gotten into him? Half a day and he’s ready to make out with a someone he hardly knows? He wants so badly to feel guilty- livid at himself for his actions, but it doesn’t come.

He pretends he’s asleep after Katara puts Kya and Ursa to bed, slipping in next to him and casually hugging an arm across his chest. She wishes him goodnight, planting a gentle kiss to his ear. Zuko blinks in the dark when he hears her snoring and he contemplates that she must be a heavy sleeper because even _that_ can wake the dead. He can’t relax enough to slip into a state of slumber, not when he’s in an unfamiliar place, not when he has someone who is basically a stranger clinging to him. Not when he had been on the verge of cheating on his girlfriend. 

Then again, he’s the stranger in _her_ bed as well. He is not her Zuko; this great husband and father who gave up everything to be with her. This man who’s enemies trust him with their lives. He’s a fraud, a murderer. He watched Azula strike a kid down and reaped the rewards. He watched his uncle get dragged away like dirt. He watched a young girl who offered her kindness shed tears of a broken heart and broken trust. Where does the shame end?

_I just want to go home. I want to put this all behind me._

The air in the room becomes colder and dread stirs in his gut. A heavy weight comes down on his body and there’s a disturbance in the air that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Alert, Zuko attempts to sit up. He can’t move. His surroundings turn gray and there’s an eerie quiet that even cancels out Katara’s ungodly snoring. 

“Hello, Prince Zuko.” Soft white light floats close to his side of the bed, blinding him until what appears before him is a young woman with hair as white as snow and eyes the color of ice blue. “I would apologize for the late introduction but this is not the first we’ve met. Well, at least the first in which you haven’t attacked me.”

Zuko pales. He hasn’t seen many spirits before but he can clearly tell this one was. There’s no doubt she’s involved in his predicament. “Who are you? Did you do this to me?”

“I am the moon spirit, Yue. And yes, I have brought you here.”

He’s seething. Of course the spirits were the culprit, no one else held such power, but then that confirms that being here wasn’t a dream. “Why? What could I have possibly done to deserve being taken away from my world?” He knows why, yet he refuses to acknowledge it; bury it somewhere deep within him where it could never come back to mock him. _Liar._

“I cannot say. That is up to you to figure out.”

“Argh!” He growls. This can’t be happening! Realizing his outrage, Zuko checks on Katara, wondering if he had disturbed her.

“No worries. She cannot hear us.” Yue answers without him asking. 

“So this is some sort of punishment. For what? What I did in the catacombs?”

“Yes and no. It’s quite complicated, really. But again, it’s up to you to figure out. I am briefly here to inform you of just that.”

“At least tell me where I am!”

Yue isn’t enthused by his tone but decides to answer nonetheless. “What you are experiencing is a glimpse. This life is an alternate timeline, a branch out from your previous one. With every major decision you make, you come to a crossroad, two paths lay before you based on the decisions of your past and determine your future.”

“So then, the Zuko who’s life I’m now living isn’t my future?”

“No.”

_Thank Agni._ “How long am I here for? Can I go back?”

“You can but only when you have come to terms with the struggle inside you. You must rectify the injustices that have come to pass.”

That doesn’t make sense. Zuko’s no saint but there are people that have committed far worse injustices than he has. Yet, here he is. “A-against Katara?”

“Against yourself.”

What? He doesn’t understand! Zuko has redeemed himself. He had set things right by regaining his honor in his father’s eyes and given a second chance to revive his place on the throne. He has struggled immensely and has finally been given the chance to restore everything he’s lost. What in this spirit’s right mind gave her the idea that he needs rectifying? “None of that makes sense!”

“It will soon enough. It is up to you to determine your destiny. This is all I can give you. For now. I hope this helps you on your journey, Prince Zuko.”

“No! Wait!” She can’t leave him here after explaining so vaguely. “That’s all I get? A piss poor excuse for me being here and little to no explanation for what I should do next?”

Yue frowns. “You are a selfish one, I see. No different than I would have expected. Do not insult the spirits, Prince Zuko, we hold grudges and an eternity comes and goes in the blink of an eye for us. I feel no need to repeat myself.” Her eyes glow a harsh white and Zuko swallows. “Do not take for granted this opportunity, it’s more than you deserve.”

She’s gone. Like that the colors around him return to normal and Katara’s snoring. He can move but he can’t find the strength to do so. The news has him at a loss, Zuko silently repeating to himself that this can’t be happening. 

* * *

Morning arrives and it’s all the same. Same room, same furs, and the same shit that comes with it. Zuko huffs out his anger in smoke, exhaling it from his mouth. Damn that spirit! Katara isn’t in bed with him this time, the sound of a baby wailing disrupting the little sleep he managed to get last night. He wants to delve deeper into the encounter he had with Yue last night, replaying her words so that he could better analyze and break down the only useless clues she was willing to give him, but his concentration is interrupted by that excessive crying!

With a huff, Zuko kicks the furs off him and charges for the washroom. He throws the flap open before immediately averting his gaze, his face red from his neck to his ears. 

Katara’s bathing, one arm reaching the ceiling and the other bending water along her torso. “Ah, you’re awake.” She says when she notices him, turning around, exposing ample breasts- so supple and heavy from childbearing. That strange flutter that was in Zuko’s stomach the day before raged south. His blood pulsed loud in his ears and he hates how his curiosity deverts to his other head. “Well someone’s happy to see me.” 

Beads of water run down her body as Katara stands straight up, every inch of her skin glistening and making it all so difficult for Zuko not to stare dumbfoundedly. The raging hormones in his adult body might have ceased long ago but in his head his virgin mind is screaming. 

He quickly covers his crotch. “T-the baby...it’s, um, crying.”

“So?” She asks, arching a brow. “Oh no, Zuko, you know today’s my day of the week. Besides, I have a private waterbending lesson with one of my students this afternoon, then I have to stop by Gran Gran’s since she wasn’t feeling well for the festival. I told you about this.”

Really? She’s leaving him here with them? He doesn’t know the first thing about babies! “I-”

“And don’t forget to head to the market after taking Kya to school. Pick me up something sweet, will you? I like that taffy they get from Kyoshi Island.” 

He doesn’t get a word in edgewise, Katara listing off things that need done while she’s working. Being a stay at home dad entails more than he ever accounted for. “Oh, and Zuko? Can you bring me the soap and warm my bathwater? I wanted to ask earlier but I didn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

_So instead you let the baby do it._ Zuko wants to say but holds his tongue, grabbing the only bar of soap he can find in the washroom. He lays it on the ring of the tub, looking down at his feet and ignoring the hardness he’s sporting painfully in his trousers as he dips his hand in the water.

“Much better.” Katara moans, smiling over her shoulder at Zuko before proceeding to bathe. 

Something catches his eye when she turns away from him. To his shock, the same scar Zuko had on his chest reflected on Katara’s back, spreading from the center like spider cracks. 

* * *

Okay. It’s a baby, a little human being. How hard could it be to change a baby? 

Finally figuring out how to undo the pins holding Ursa’s diaper in place, Zuko gags at the sudden stench. He stumbles on his feet, pinching his nose. How in Agni’s name does something so small manage to smell like his uncle after a five course meal? “Pew...ack. All right. I can do this.” 

He sure as hell hopes this isn’t what the spirits are testing him on but he isn’t going to take the chance of skipping it if it is. “Umm…” He’s spinning around the room in search of something to clean the baby with. 

Kya, still wide eyed and staring intently at him, points to the water bowl and cloth sitting on a table. A lightbulb goes off in his head and Zuko reaches for it. Greatl, he at least has step one down. He dips the cloth in water, wringing it out and rushing back to Ursa. 

“What the-” Ursa claps her hands, urine streaming onto Zuko’s face after he attempts to clean her off with the fresh towel, sputtering uncontrollably. He takes the towel, scrubbing his face hard in disgust. 

Of all the battles he’s encountered, this one was by far the worst. The little girl was constantly testing his patience- kicking her feet, trying to crawl away and just downright giggling endlessly at Zuko’s distress. He struggles to get the diaper on only for her to leave him with another surprise and forcing him to start all over again, and once more because Zuko put the fresh one on backwards. With a sigh, he eventually accomplishes in getting Ursa changed and fit into a fresh pair of clothes, wiping the sweat from his brow. Cupping both his cheeks, his daughter rewards him with a sloppy open mouth kiss to the nose and for some reason that delights Zuko. 

“You’re not my daddy, are you?” Kya whispers. 

She’s is eyeing him incredulously. He opens his mouth, then holds back. Would he be tampering with his progress if he were to confirm that he was not indeed her father? “N-no. I’m not.” He answers, nervous. “I’m just here...kind of on a mission. But your father will be back very soon. I promise.”

Kya cants her head, standing up off her bed of furs and slowly walking to Zuko. He’s like a fauna caught grazing. She stops in front of him, cerulean blue eyes like saucers. “A mission? Are you a bad person?”

“No. Or I don’t think so.”

“How long will daddy be gone?”

“Um, just for a while, I guess.”

“You wouldn’t hurt us? Me or mommy or Ursa, right?” Kya muttered, sticking her bottom lip out. 

Oh no. Is she going to start crying? He can’t handle crying. “Of course not. I would never hurt any of you.” Not like he did in the Earth Kingdom. Zuko blinks it away. 

This eases her. Kya gives Zuko a big smile, taking his hand and sort of giving it a shake in greeting. “I’m Kya and this is my little sister, Ursa. She can’t talk yet so I have to introduce her.”

“Nice to meet you Kya.”

“Can all spirits turn into people?”

“Pardon?”

“You showed up during the solstice, which must mean you are one of the spirits Great Gran Gran always talked about who comes to people’s homes to visit and bless them with good health and good fortune.”

Zuko rolls his eyes. “Sure.”

“Yay! I knew it!” Without warning Kya wraps her arms around his leg . “I’ve always wanted to meet a spirit. Hey, do you know how to firebend?” She asks excitedly.

“Y-yes.”

Kya gasps, a smile breaking wide on her face. “I can too! You can teach me, can’t you? Please, please, please teach me! I’m not very good but daddy tells me to keep working hard. I really want to master it.”

She’s a firebender. Pride unexpectedly swells in his chest. He has a firebender for a daughter? And she’s not corrupt in any way, Zuko dismissing the idea of children long ago in fear that his children will end up like him or Azula, or worse, he’d end up like Ozai. The bullshit his family gene carried apparently hadn’t made its way to this little girl. Or he can at least thank his lucky stars that Katara’s side managed to cancel that out. 

“When did you find out you were a firebender?” Zuko asks, genuinely curious, he sits in front of Kya so that they’re leveled face to face and cradles Ursa in his lap, allowing her to use his hand to nibble with her gums. 

“Hmm, when I was four. I just turned five, so I haven’t been learning that long.”

Late, just like him. Kya wasn’t bothered by this, the little girl with sheer determination in her eyes. A lot more confident than Zuko ever was. He worried about being a non-bender, his father commenting on what a disappointment Zuko was and what usually happens to royal born non-benders. Explaining how they were often gruesomely discarded. 

_She has pride._ Zuko thought. _A firebender’s pride._ Living in the South Pole did not hinder that, he can tell.

“I can’t see why I wouldn’t teach you.”

She’s alight. Zuko’s touched. He’s also feeling a sense of pride, that of a father. 

“First things first.” Zuko interrupted her joyful bouncing. “What am I supposed to do next?”

* * *

“I go to school until mid-morning and then sewing lessons with Great Gran Gran until noon. Mommy picks me up from there. Four days a week I have firebending lessons with Daddy and twice a week, the women gather in the village to skin the hunt.”

“So, what, I just wait around until it’s time for me to teach you firebending?” 

Ky shakes her head. “Nope. Daddy does the shopping in the morning then goes home to clean and take care of Ursa until Mommy comes home from teaching. He has dinner ready by the time she gets home.”

“Dinner? I don’t know the first thing about cooking.”

Kya shrugs.

“Is there anything exciting I actually do, other than being a maid?” He’s not exactly coming to terms with this whole ‘stay-at-home dad’ bit. 

She contemplates this, tapping her chin. “Hmm. Daddy also trains the men on combat weapons at the east end of the village I think twice a week when it’s Mommy’s turn to take care of us. You’re the best in the village! Uncle Sokka has a hard time keeping up.”

Oh. Well, that’ll occupy some time other than lazing around the house. That also explains why the other men in the village carry some sort of respect for him. 

They arrive at Kya’s school, the little girl wishing him luck on his day and points in the direction of the market strip and the post area where they station their messenger hawks. Zuko pats the letter in his pocket where he had stored away a letter for his Uncle, requesting information about Azula and Ozai’s status.

She also took the time earlier that morning to explain the South Pole’s currency to him and which vendors in the village exchange goods for his training sessions. With that in mind, Zuko sets out across the snow with a drowsy Ursa strapped to his chest, possibly sleepy from a full belly. Katara had fed her before taking off, leaning affectionately next to Zuko while Ursa suckled at her breast, the Fire Nation Prince caught in an awkward dilemma and so oddly intrigued, he caught himself taking shy glances. 

The market is crowded and Zuko’s brain is on overload from the massive selection lined up before him. Fish, arctic chicken, tiger seal, whale blubber, sea prunes- where does he even start? 

He’s in for the long haul and he prays to the spirits that they know exactly what they’re doing by putting him up to the task. 

* * *

Damn it all to hell, Zuko’s not cut out for this. The broth was boiling over and the arctic chicken he selected was hard to cut through. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how to use the kitchen tools properly. Annoyed, he tosses the whole bird into the broth and moves onto stirring the rice. 

“Shit, shit, shit.” He curses, having left the rice to boil too long without stirring, causing it to stick to the bottom of the pot, and now it has become completely overtender from too much water. 

In the midst of this, Ursa begins crying. Zuko had given her the remainder of the breastmilk Katara had stored, and for some reason she’s as red as a tomato, crying at the top of her lungs. Between cooking, trying to scrub the mess caked all over the place and Ursa’s high-pitched cries for attention, Zuko thought he might lose his mind. He attempts to block out the noise by covering his ears but then the lid blows off one of the pots and bubbles of water begin to spew over. Zuko reacts by grabbing the lid bare handed and yelps. Out of anger, he huffs out the fire, submerging the house in complete darkness and this seems to frighten Ursa further into a crying fit until she’s hiccuping.

“Please!” He yells, scaring her. That was a mistake. Zuko falls to his knees in front of his daughter, pleading. “Please. Ursa, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He tries to soothe. 

He picks her up from her cradle, bouncing her up and down. Why was this so complicated? It’s in this moment that he empathizes with his own mother and wonders if he or Azula had been this difficult. Zuko rocks back and forth, seriously at his wits end until-

“Bluuuuurp.”

It stopped. She stopped crying!

“Ah-hah!” Zuko smiles, realizing that she had only needed to belch after feeding. Relieved of her bloating belly, Ursa mirrors her own gummy smile. “That’s a good girl. You just had an achy tummy, didn’t you? You sound just like Uncle, only a lot more cuter. That’s right, you’re so much cuter.” He tickles her round baby belly, making Ursa giggle and squirm. 

With Ursa now settled, Zuko concentrates on finishing dinner. He saves as much of the rice as he can then proceeds to finish cooking the broth. He goes through the basket of leaves and spices, pleased to find one he recognizes from the Fire Nation. A little spice should do the trick. 

* * *

“Looks like you guys have had quite a day.” Katara enters the house with Kya linked to her hand, seeing pots and pans ascue. The smell of burned rice and chicken lingered in the house. Kya gasped, looking at a smoke covered Zuko and silently smiles behind her gloved hand. Katara’s brow furrows. “What happened?”

“Uh...dinner kind of got away from me.”

“You don’t say.” Katara frowns. “Oh, well. I’m sure dinner will be great. Kya, go wash your hands.”

Zuko pours their bowls and passes them around the table, seating himself across from Katara, Kya deciding to plop right next to him. Not too terrible for his first try at cooking but considering he hadn’t burnt the house down, how bad could it be?

Katara grimaces at the first bite.

“Spicy!” Kya shouted, slapping her hands over her mouth. 

He’s baffled. “Spicy?”

“You may have used a bit too much seasoning.” Katara coughed, bringing a hand to her chest, her face growing a bright red. “What did you use?”

“The dark brown seasoning. I only used the one bottle. What’s the big deal?”

“The whole bottle!” Katara exclaimed, clearing her throat and wiping the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t believe he’d waste a whole bottle of seasoning on one meal. “Zuko, that bottle is expensive.”

“So.” He says, failing to see the problem. “We can ask my Uncle for more. One letter and he’ll send us anything we need.”

“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t ask your Uncle for anything.”

“Who’s idea was that?”

“Yours!”

Katara jumps from her seat, she can’t take it. Her eyes were watering and her throat was burning. She opens the cork to a tall vase and bends the water to her mouth. Kya made a few coughs, exhaling a bit of smoke, but was okay afterwards; benefits to being a firebender. 

Zuko watches disappointedly, upset that his so-called family did not enjoy the food he slaved over and the fact that he had come up with the silly idea of never asking his uncle for anything. No, not him, the other Zuko. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

The burn subsides, giving Katara’s airways enough room to finally speak. “It’s okay. I know you tried, love. Everyone has their off days.”

“I wasn’t talking about dinner.” He mumbles but dismisses it by collecting everyone’s bowls and does the dishes. Katara offers to throw together some stew, noting the scowl on Zuko’s face but ignores it in favor of tending to her growling stomach. 

Zuko’s been off since yesterday and she ponders if Sesuk had really gotten to him that bad. But even before the festivities, he had been strange, unlike himself. Katara had often had this gnawing doubt that Zuko might regret marrying her but everyday he would sweep away those misgivings. Because he was Zuko and he loved her. Now, over the last twenty-four hours, she isn’t so sure that he harbors no regrets. 

“I love you, Zuko.” She tells him in the middle of them all finishing dinner.

He pauses, keeping his eyes cast to the bowl and nods. 

* * *

Two week after being here, Zuko picks up on his daily routine pretty quickly. His cooking techniques have come out slightly better but the most he looks forward to is escaping the house and teaching Kya firebending or leading the warriors in combat training. 

He’s a natural born leader, of course. He happens to have a knack for screaming at the top of his lungs at soldiers. None of the men contend with his methods, though he knows nothing of what methods the other Zuko uses. In fact, they seem to appreciate it. He works them until their muscles are sore and the weight of their weapons make their arms feel like jelly. 

He actually finds amusement when Sokka shows up to challenge him. Kya’s right, he isn’t nearly as good as Zuko, but he definitely gives Zuko a run. For being future Chieftain, the Fire Nation Prince wouldn’t expect any less from Sokka despite finding the other man lacking in other senses. There’s a sense of accomplishment behind being told what a great fighter he is, and for a moment he forgets his troubles at home with Katara. He forgets the demons that snake in his dreams at night reminding him of what he had done in his previous life.

Kya is amazing. Zuko can’t believe how advanced she is and it’s almost scary that it only took her a year to reach the level of skill she has. Some of her forms were quite unique, pulled from what he had seen from benders around the world.

One day, Kya performs a pose he had not seen before, lifting a single knee then swaying the fire in front of her then back, turning around and shooting it out in front of her. Zuko’s impressed, noting that being a waterbending move.

“Who taught you that?” He asks.

“Daddy did.”

“Does he often teach you forms that involve waterbending.”

“Sometimes, but he usually adds his own spin to it. It’s kind of cool. He says he learned them during the war. When he fought by the Avatar’s side, he had learned to embrace all the nations fighting styles.”

The Avatar. Zuko bit his lip, hard. He’s alive. Of course, he’s alive. And Zuko’s helped him? “When you say I fought by the Avatar’s side, you’re saying I helped him defeat your grandfather?”

Kya nodded. “Daddy and Mommy defeated Aunt Azula when she was very, very sick, Daddy said. Uncle Aang defeated Ozai and Great Uncle Iroh became Fire Lord.” 

“I see…” Now for the bigger question. “Where are Ozai and Azula?”

“Aunt Azula is being taken care of by healers. Daddy says Ozai is someplace where he can never hurt anyone ever again. Uncle Aang had taken his bending just in case. “

Zuko’s heart sank. The Avatar could take away bending. The boy was more powerful than he let on. And to think, how many times did he have the chance to do the same to Zuko? He shudders, a cold feeling going over his skin. The shattered pieces were coming together. The war is over here but the outcome turned out to be a lot different than Zuko anticipated. The Fire Nation had lost.

“Zuko, a letter arrived from Iroh!” Katara waved from the front door.

“We’ll continue this tomorrow.” Zuko tells Kya sullenly. The disbelief is making him sick. He makes his way to the hut, hoping the response from his uncle will clarify some things.

* * *

_Dear Nephew,_

_I have received your urgent letter and I’m afraid I had not come across it until recently. My duties have delayed my response but I am genuinely concerned. I’m afraid what you have written has left me somewhat confused. It is most unlike you to ask of your father and sister but if you must know, there has been no change since your last visit here at the Fire Nation two years ago. Nephew, please send a more detailed letter explaining what has brought you to inquire about this._

_Love your Uncle,_

_Fire Lord Iroh_

_P.S._

_Give lots of kisses to Kya and Ursa for me and tell Katara I’ve sent more of that tea blend she’s wanted._

That’s it? Zuko reaches in the box the letter is attached to and scoffs. It is a gold tin imprinted with a red rose. “A contraceptive?” 

Placing it back in the box and pushing it aside, Zuko reads and re-reads the letter over and over. He’s absolutely blank on what he should reply. He had been impatient as it was, his nerves on edge because he still couldn’t believe Iroh was no longer imprisoned but was in fact Fire Lord. Was this what Yue was referring to when she said he needed to rectify himself? Does he need to go back to his time and free Uncle so he can take his rightful place on the throne? And that’s why the Avatar’s involved?

Zuko’s more confused than ever, frustration coming out in an angry growl. He singed the parchment, blowing it out afterwards when noticing his mistake. 

“Zuko!” Katara runs in the room, kicking her boots off and stumbling around the bed. “Zuko, the kids are asleep.” 

“Hmm?” He says, staring hard at the letter again.

“Did you hear me? I said the kids are asleep.”

“So?” 

“So? You know what that means.” She smirks, climbing on the bed and snatching the letter away.

“Hey, I was still reading that!”

“Later.” She bites her lip, unbuttoning her parka one by one.

_Oh fuck._

“Is that the tea your Uncle sent me?”

Zuko nods in a trance. “Uh-huh.” He can’t take his eyes away. There’s no denying the heat washing over him every time Katara’s close. She is stirring him up and he finds he can’t think straight around her.

“Good.”

Katara strips down to her leggings and upper bindings, showing off her hourglass figure and toned stomach; her hips are wide and her breasts heavy. Agni, how do the spirits create such a fascinating creature? Zuko’s a virgin but he’s also a man and it’d be an insult not to react to a beauty such as Katara. Mai’s existence scurries to the back of his mind and in the forefront of it all, it’s only Katara.

She climbs on the bed, pulling off Zuko’s boots, giggling when she finally breaks a lopsided smile from his lips. “You really have a thing for me, don’t you?”

She cups his bulge and Zuko makes a highly embarrassing moan. “If that’s what you want to call it.” She massages his cocks throught his pants, flattening his hardened length against his stomach and skillfully stroking it.

“Wait-” He breathes, observing Katara as she comes in to straddle him and crashes her mouth on his in a long, languid kiss. 

“Mmm, Zuko. I’ve wanted you in my mouth all day.” She coos. 

_Fuck it all!_

Zuko tops her, kissing her hard and hungry. Lifting her legs and wrapping them around his waist, he bucks into her, their hips colliding and spirits, it feels so damn good; so good, his eyes roll to the back of his head, feeling faint and dizzy at how aroused and wild Katara has him. 

Breaking away and inhaling sharply as though he were drowning and coming up for air, Zuko’s ready to dive in for more but stops short. Those eyes, blue as the ocean on the coast of Ember Island, was staring back at him so lovingly. Like he was the world to her and she, the world to him. Those same eyes that offered him trust and friendship and freedom from the horrid mark of his past embedded on his face. The same eyes that shared a deep hatred for him when he had made his choice to join his sister.

He didn’t know her name yet she offered him kindness when she knew he probably didn’t deserve it. She’s beautiful. Agni, she’s absolutely beautiful. Katara radiates a charm that would have any man looking twice, and yet...and yet, she chose him. 

“How can you look at me like that?” She asks, pulling him from his stupor. 

Her blue eyes shift over his face, bound by the way he looks at her so intently, so infatuated. This man, who has loved and shared a life with her the past six years. And yet, she feels like she’s sixteen all over again. A sudden bud rose in her chest and blossoms into everlasting longing. Katara remembers this, remembers this exact scenario where Zuko had met her with the same gaze in the Crystal Catacombs so many years ago. Where he had met her with the same gaze in the quiet of his princely chambers and the kiss that silenced her sobs when she did not know if he would make it alive from the injury Azula had given him. 

Zuko swallows. “Like what?”

“Like you’re seeing me for the very first time.”

The world stands still around them and neither could look away. Zuko’s heart jump starts, pounding relentlessly in his chest.

“Mommy! Ursa’s crying.” Kya calls to her.

“Shoot. Okay. I’ll be back.” Katara leans in to plant a chaste kiss to his lips before crawling out from under him to tend to their daughter.

Zuko leans back on the balls of feet, blinking out in space. This is wrong. _I shouldn’t- but I think- no, I can’t._

It frightens him. He cares about Katara more than he should. She’s the enemy and he was ready to make love to her without a second thought. Like the coward he is, rather than exploring these newfound feelings, he buries himself under the covers of their bed and pretends he’s asleep yet again.


	4. Breaking Habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months into living in the future, Zuko's gradually starting to adjust; becoming a father and growing a fondness for the two little girls. Too bad the spirits didn't leave him a manual. The longer he's there, the deeper he attaches and Katara isn't making it easy either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Chapter four. Thanks again for all the comments. My goodness, I'm just so ecstatic you guys are really enjoying this. Makes me wish I could have finished this chapter sooner. Heads up, this chapter will contain premature ejaculation.

“We’ve been here for hours.” Zuko pouts. 

“A few hours here is better than weeks stuck at the house with nothing to keep us warm. The girls are growing out of their clothes and the village is closed down during storms. Ooh, I like that skin. Which one, Kya? Do you like wolf or tiger seal skin for your boots this year?” 

“Hmm...tiger seal!” 

“Good choice. We’ll take the tiger seal skin, please.” Katara requests from the woman behind the stand. 

They had been shopping all morning, Katara unexpectedly taking the day off to gather materials for the upcoming winter. Was it not winter here all year around? Because Zuko couldn't possibly see how it can get any worse. 

“So, let’s see. We’ve got needles, thread, seal skin, wolf fur, cloth, cotton. Next, we’ll need to grab some curing, enough to last us a few months in case the blizzards hit hard this year. Do you see anything you need, Zuko?”

“Not really.” He says. To his chagrin, he can’t look Katara directly in the eye. He doesn’t like to be all mixed up and he’s feeling conflicted the more he’s around her. He’s made excuses to avoid sex and he can tell Katara is picking up that there’s something amiss about him, her expressions always dejected when he doesn’t return her affection. 

They wander the market for another half hour. There are merchants from all over the world, a couple happen to be Fire Nation. Kya had informed him that now and then there would be a few merchant ships that would come to the South Pole, but most of the goods they received were mainly done through import. Outsiders didn't like to stay in the cold too long.

Zuko catches a glint in his peripheral vision, curiosity peaking upon seeing colors of vibrant reds; crimson, scarlet, mahogany, burgundy. Zuko stalks over to the stand where a Fire Nation man in extravagant attire and a neatly tight topknot is leaning over in a bored fashion until Zuko approaches and he stands upright. Zuko skims his fingers over silk, satin, cotton, lace- all kinds of material that reminds him of home. It’s smooth beneath his fingertips, soft like clouds and light as a feather- fabric meant to combat the Fire Nation heat. 

“These are beautiful.” Katara’s next to him holding Kya’s hand, her gaze wandering over the fabric in absolute awe. “I haven’t seen anything like this in years. When I was an ambassador, I had all kinds of clothes but this...the it would feel so good on my skin.”

“The finest the Fire Nation has to offer. It’s only available to the royal family but today, I offer this to you at a great price.” The merchant grins. 

He’s lying, the material is decent at best but Zuko doesn’t care. It reminds him of home and from what his wife has said, she would also be pleased to have it as well. “We’ll take it.”

“These are expensive.” Katara gasped, flipping over the price tag. “We can’t afford this.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

  
“Figure what out? We only have one income coming in.” Katara argues. She wants it as much as him but they had to be realistic. “Maybe we can find something here that’s more our budget.”

“You won’t find anything like this anywhere else other than the Fire Nation, lady. I’m telling you, you're getting a steal for your money.” The merchant chimes in.

“Shut up.” Zuko snaps at him. He then turns to Katara. “Look, I know you don’t want to ask for Uncle’s help but why should we deprive ourselves just because we’re too proud to ask for anything in return? We both work hard, it’s the least we deserve.” He picks up a bundle. “You can make the girls dresses. And this here,” he points to another, “is great for bed sheets when it gets hot.”

“We live in the South Pole, Zuko.”

“So? You want it. I want it.” He’s letting it surface again. He should be adapting but it’s hard when he’s living someone else’s life. “Day and day out, I wake up to the same thing. I drag myself out of bed, prepare the children for the day before taking Kya to school, then fill my time between going to the market and caring for Ursa. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I fix dinner. After bathing and putting the girls to sleep, it starts all over again.” He’s forced into a life he didn’t ask for. How could she do this to him? There’s no way that he’ll let this one thing he’s asking for slip from his fingers. “We’ll take it.” He tells the merchant.

Katara looks hurt, clenching the front of her parka in disbelief. “I’m so sorry your life is a disappointment to you. Buy the damn fabric if it makes you feel so fucking validated! We’ll just starve this winter.”

“Ugh, why are you so difficult?”

“Why are you?!” Katara yells back, the ache in her voice carrying over the crowded streets, people stopping to see what the commotion is about. Among them happens to be Sesuk, a smirk present on his smug face and arms crossed as he watches the scene unfold.

“Not here.” Zuko tries to calm her, noticing the stares. “People are looking.”

Since when did he care what people thought? In fact, why did he think _she_ cared? “Who are you?” But she doesn’t stick around for the answer, quickly unstrapping Ursa from his chest and snatching Kya’s hand before storming off. 

Kya begins crying, having not seen her parent’s yell like this, the confusion also setting Ursa off in a fit. Kya pleads with her mother, not understanding why they were leaving so soon and why her father wasn’t coming with them. Katara doesn’t answer, she can’t. Her throat closed up and she’s already choking back the tears that are threatening to fall. Not here. She won’t cry here, Katara reminds herself. 

“Katara.” Zuko calls out. “Katara, where are you going? They’re crying!” Zuko stammers a few steps forward, his instincts telling him to immediately run to his daughters, cradle them, tell them everything is okay and that he didn't mean to frighten them. Following them through the busy streets, Zuko hastens himself to get to his girls. But Katara doesn’t stop for him and he loses her to a wave of people. 

* * *

“I fucked up.” Zuko sighs, unable to lift his head from the table. 

His brother-in-law tries to console him to no avail, Sokka sitting across from him, urging him to drink some tea. Suki had left for Zuko’s house to comfort Katara after he had told his in-laws what had taken place at the market. The Fire Nation Prince had no intentions of wondering here but he had no idea where else to go. Home was not an option, he wasn’t ready to face Katara. Sokka kept him company, blabbering on about one thing or another- hell, Zuko couldn’t keep track- attempting to reassure Zuko that all this will pass. He scowls, his only source of entertainment aside from the tribesman are the cackles in the fireplace, dancing. 

Then Zuko’s mind begins to fade into a place of recollection, that being his first time in the South Pole. The ice caps, the mountains, the endless fall of snow and his poor excuse for a crew huddling up around a fire unprepared for this kind of climate. He hardly paid attention to detail other than finding himself loathing the bitter cold. His focus only on his mission, nothing else mattered. He also remembers Iroh bringing him a heavy furred cloak for warmth and tea at the lip of the ship where Zuko stood for hours. He also remembers shoving the coat away and slapping the teacup from his Uncle’s hand, screaming at him for being lazy and unmindful of staying on task. Too disgusted, Zuko had then left Iroh to pick up the shards of his cup while he stared off into the unknown squaring his eyes into the distance hoping to capture some sign that the Avatar was close. 

Zuko rubs a hand over his face. “What a horrible person I am.” He had planned on responding to the letter Iroh had sent him a couple months ago but he couldn't find the words. Since then, his Uncle had sent him four more, none of which he has yet to read.

“You’re not a horrible person. You’re just...going through a rough patch.” 

“Rough patch? That's an understatement.” The firebender scoffs. 

He usually has the girls in a bath by now, laughing and playing until the water splashes over the ring of the tub and he has to call a timeout. He would dress them warmly, brush their hair. He’d share rice cookies with Kya and rock Ursa to sleep before tucking in his oldest after a full belly. He would tell them a story- some he remembers his mother telling him or his Uncle’s crazy adventures in the spirit world. Then he would kiss them goodnight, waiting patiently as he fondly watches them slip into slumber before retreating for the night. 

Zuko didn’t think during his time here he would be desperate to hold them, be with them, if they were ever separated. They weren’t his but it didn’t change what they meant to him. “They haven’t spent a single night away from me. Yet I’m here with no clue on how to handle this. I don’t know what I’ll run into when I get home.” 

“Yeah...Katara holds a pretty mean grudge. Thought you learned your lesson the first time she threatened you.” Sokka tells him, ripping apart a piece of seal jerky with his teeth. “Want some?” He offers Zuko, in which he quickly turns down with a contorted face of disgust seeing his brother-in-law chew with his mouth open.

“She threatened me?”

“At the Western Air Temple? Said you're a dead man if you stepped out of line. Well, not in those exact words, but she might as well have. Even after joining us, she still didn’t trust you.” 

Zuko shudders. He’ll admit, Katara is kind of scary. Already having witnessed her almost take out Azula. Azula, who he could hardly match himself, actually expressed fear. No one’s ever done that. “I believe it.” 

“Yeah, that’s why I’m saying this once. _Don’t-fuck-this-up_. I don’t know what you’re going through or why, but it’s better to figure it out soon. Katara may be tough but she is sensitive. Since losing mom and when Dad left for war, being abandoned is one of the few fears she has in the world. She won’t tell you but I know she’s afraid that whatever's happening to you, you’ll ultimately decide to leave in the end.”

“She- She’s told you this?”

“Pfft, of course not. She’s too stubborn. I just know my sister.”

“It’s nothing against Katara. I don’t want her to hate me or anything, it’s just...I’m not the man she thinks I am. Or I-I feel like that way sometimes. I guess I look at my life now and wonder where it all...changed.”

Sokka nods. “I get it. I ask myself the same thing sometimes. If Yue were alive, would I have married Suki?””

Zuko frowns immediately. _Yue?_

“I believe things happen for a reason. Not all the time but the most important parts. Yue was meant to be the moon and I was meant to be here with Suki just like you were meant to be with Katara instead of with that gloomy girl. What’s her name again?”

“Mai.” Zuko hissed between clenched teeth.

“Yeah, her! You and Katara have made some serious sacrifices. I salute you both.”

Speaking of sacrifices. “Yeah, that scar. I can’t imagine what the war has done to her. Or any of you for that matter.”

“Are you talking about the one on her back? From when Azula struck her with lightning? I was actually referring-”

“When did that happen?!”

“Seriously, buddy, you’re making me worried. In the catacombs, remember? You came to our side, you and your uncle, and that’s when Azula struck her.” 

Zuko’s good eye widened. He didn’t side with Azula in the catacombs? That time Katara had opened her trust to him, he must have accepted it. As a result of that decision, Azula probably chose to target Katara instead of the Avatar. Not betraying the waterbender set in motion a completely different reality, a different set of events. Azula always enjoyed hitting Zuko where it hurt and seeing him take Katara’s side must have shifted his sister’s judgement. She’s already done it to Uncle, why not the person who convinced him to join the enemy?

“You okay there, buddy? You look a little pale.” 

His gut clenched, a sickness rolled in his stomach. “She survived?” No one survived Azula's lightning. 

“Yeah…” Sokka raised a brow, but then his features went dark, recalling that day. “That day, we thought she would die...she _did_ die. We escaped and you kept rambling on about water. I was angry and Aang was frantic. Toph was silent after telling us she couldn’t feel her heartbeat and your Uncle was trying to calm me down so I would listen. I didn’t believe you at first when you tried to say there was a way but I kept shoving you, screaming that it was your fault. You snatched the necklace around her neck and poured the spirit water over her back. I thought you were crazy.” He gave a short laugh. “But then she started coming to and…She wouldn’t have made it without you, Zuko.”

_Yes she would have._ Zuko wants to say, shutting his eyes in regret. _She would have been better off not knowing me at all._

* * *

The house is quiet when he enters. No one greets him but the toys scattered on the floor and the fire. He stalks to the back of the hut. He needs to see his daughters, make sure they are tucked safely in their beds. To Zuko’s surprise, Katara is there, lying in the furs next to Kya and Ursa. He means to apologize, ready to turn on his heels. 

“This isn’t the life I envisioned either, you know.” His wife’s voice breaks through the dark, reaching him with a rasp from what sounded like she had been crying. 

Zuko stops in his tracks and turns to look at her, curiosity drawing him back. He kneels at the bedside and decides to brush back Kya’s hair, careful not to pet her too hard when her breath exhales loudly before slowly coming to a normal rhythm. She’s in a deep sleep, and spirits bless her, she snores like her mother. “It isn’t?” He urges Katara to continue.

“No...I had plans as well. I had dreams.” She sits up, her red rimmed gaze meeting his before sliding away and across the room to focus on anything else but him. “I traveled the world after the war and it felt...it felt like everything I ever imagined as a child was so much bigger- so much more. Without all the fighting and the bloodshed. Without being tied down. I had a purpose outside fighting the war and when me and Aang separated- everything was at my fingertips and for once, I was ready to take it on my way. Don’t think you’re the only one who made sacrifices.”

“I’m sorry. That’s not what I thought- or wanted you to think.”

“I don’t want your apology.” She snapped. 

“I’m sor- I mean, continue.”

“When your uncle asked me to be his Watertribe Ambassador, I was ecstatic. It’s not exactly what I had in mind but I was honored. I’d be able to make a difference. Not just as a Master Waterbender but by gaining a title that would put me in a position to make the world a better place as a whole. Iroh gave me an opportunity and I had my best friend to help me through it, so I knew I was making the right move going to the Fire Nation.”

It takes a minute for Zuko to pick up that she was referring to him. Best Friends? Were they really that close? Granted, he finds himself at ease with Katara, unusual for two people who were enemies on opposite sides, forced to fight. 

“So then, what made you decide to give that up? Even getting married, I would have hoped that wouldn’t have hindered what you truly wanted.”

She smiles fondly. It fades as quickly as it comes. “When I found out I was pregnant, I was so mad. Mad at you, mad at myself. One careless night at an inn and it changed everything.”

Katara confessing being mad when finding out she was carrying shocked Zuko. Most women he’s seen who’ve heard that kind of news would brim with joy. 

“So, then you thought it best for us to get married. Leave the Fire Nation and raise Kya? Would it not have been in her best interest to raise her there? Where she would have been treated with high respect and care?”

“I didn’t think of it that way, Zuko. In fact, I planned on retiring and raising Kya in the South alone.”

“You were going to keep her from me.” It was a statement rather than a question. Outrage balled in his chest, the possibility of never being near his daughter, let alone forced out of her life, angered him. But she was not his daughter yet he felt betrayed all the same. “You...you were going to keep her from me?” 

“That wasn't my intention. You and I had a thing before and then you left with Mai. So, I went with Aang and I wasn't going to stick around with your constant on again, off again relationship with her. That what we had was merely a fling and I and Kya wouldn't be a priority. I was scared and I didn’t want to stick around on the off chance you would reject me and end up spending the rest of your life with Mai.” 

He wants to tell her that’s crazy. He would always do the honorable thing even if it meant giving up what he wants. Zuko then tells himself it’s not an irrational concern and he can’t condemn Katara for thinking that way. Zuko didn’t care for people. Kya and Ursa were never even in his mind let alone their existence before all this but he could never see his life without them- not now, not ever. He’d tell his children stories of his other life, how much he’s wanted to return home but thinking about it now, they wouldn’t be there. He couldn’t accept that even if he tried. He’s grown too attached when he should have known better not to. 

“What changed your mind?” He blinked back. 

“Not what, who. You did. I might have been irrational back then, I was twenty and stubborn.”

“You still are.” He comments.

Katara laughs. “Yes, that I am. I’ve loved you for a long time Zuko. When you told me you loved me back and to marry you and move to the South...all blame, the hurt, the confusion washed away. You threw away your title and your claim and whisked me away, and for so long I didn’t understand. And then Kya was born.”

It was him, his doing. He blamed her and it was him that had convinced her to run away. What compelled him to convince Katara to drop their lives in the Fire Nation and come here? “Yes, she must-“ Zuko catches himself, “was a surprise, huh?”

“She was. A really good surprise.”

“Well, I like her.”

“That’s great, Zuko. Maybe we’ll keep her.” Katara glares at him. 

“You know what I meant.”

“No I didn’t. I don't know what you mean when you say anything anymore.” He can tell she’s at her wits end, he had never thought the waterbender who had crushed him in the snow years ago with a flick of her wrists would be so uneasy. Not because of him. She bites the corner of her bottom lip and he particularly finds fascination there, blinking back the desire that hoods his eyelids. 

“I’m -“ He cuts off another apology. “Maybe I haven’t been very attentive lately.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Katara deflects. “Are you starting to hate me?” She musters up the courage to ask and Zuko’s shocked. He’s never hated Katara, hate was not a simple emotion and he never much thread any further other than the thought that she was simply the enemy. Or so he liked to believe.

For being a teenage boy, Zuko wasn’t interested in the idea of romance, his focus hard on capturing the Avatar and regaining what he once lost. When he thought he had it all, Mai pursued him and he welcomed it. Someone liked him and that meant a lot. Albeit, it wasn’t as if he hadn't lingered. He’s noticed. Katara is attractive and immensely so. In the catacombs he felt it. The foolish pounding in his chest and the color that left his face as she brought her hand to his scarred cheek and her thumb grazed his lip. A bead of sweat rolled down the nape of his neck and he had been aware of her proximity. To think that simple gesture was the line that would direct their fates. 

“I could never hate you.” Zuko says honestly, finally looking up at his wife. For the first time since being here, he initiates consolement, reaching out and enclosing his hand over her’s. “Afraid sometimes. But I could never hate you. Ever.” He meant it. Every word.

“What are you afraid of?”

_Of loving another man’s children. Of never wanting to leave. Of falling for you when you aren’t really mine._

“A lot.”

“I am sometimes too.” Katara admits with a sad smile. “But I’m happy.”

“So looking back you wouldn’t change a thing?”

“If I did, then I would be erasing all the things that I’m sure about.”

“Like what?”

“You, the girls. Life has thrown us curveballs, that’s true, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have fussed about the little things.”

Zuko admires her, while he can’t even decide if betraying his uncle and returning home to the Fire Nation was really the right thing to do. He figured in due time it would all come together and he would wake up happy. It never came. 

“I...have a question. And it’s not to do with us or the kids. But say, you aren’t happy with the decisions you’ve made, do you think there will come a time where it eventually starts to feel...I don’t know- right?”

Katara cocked a brow, apparently contemplating his words, opening and closing her mouth as though she might answer then thinking it over again. Finally, she says. “If it doesn’t feel right in the beginning, I don’t imagine it ever will. No matter how hard we try-“ She pauses, licking her lips. “What’s this really about?”

“The catacombs-“

“Spirits, Zuko, is that what’s been bothering you? There’s nothing you could have done to stop it.” _Yes, I could have._ “It was a long time ago.” _Not for me._ “I may have blamed you once but I was wrong.” Katara squeezed his hand, warmth spread all over him. How can she forgive him? How can she speak so sweetly after all he has done? Yue is right, he doesn’t deserve this. Not her. 

“Can I see it? Please?”

* * *

Zuko shyly looks away as she undresses, unnoticing the smirk crossing Katara’s lips. They had kissed their daughters goodnight and moved to the privacy of their bedroom. At first, she was taken aback by his odd request but she trusted her husband and decided he has his reasons. 

“I had hoped that the next time I would do this, you would be bending me over instead.” She quips, provoking her husband to blush furiously. 

Why must she be so straightforward? “Another time.” He says, much to her disappointment but she bows her head and turns her back to him as she tugs the knot holding her top bindings in place, letting it drape over her hips. 

He replays what Sokka told him earlier that night, detailing how it was all Azula’s doing. He examines the ugly scar, observes the puffy skin and the cracks that make many paths; to her shoulders, her neck, her waist, her backside. Indeed, the work of his sister and he can see the precision in her strike, one that was meant to kill directly. 

Zuko reaches out, traces the zigzags and puffy skin with his fingertips. Aside from the large wound, lacerations cross her body, most likely from fighting during the war, like the ones found on his own, only as an adult he carries a lot more. Zuko carefully ghosts his touch like he was trying to discern a map; from the center of her spine to the dip in her waist. Up her side and along her shoulder blade. Azula definitely aimed to kill. All because of him.

“That feels good, Zuko.” She moans softly. 

“It does?”

“Mmhm.” He can tell she’s delighted after so long of no physical contact. 

“Does it hurt?”.

Katara chuckles at this. “Does yours?”

He shakes his head and hushly replies. “No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“This should not have happened to you.” He mutters.

“A lot of things should not have happened.” Katara responds in a low whisper. She pulls away from his touch. “I know you, Zuko, and I know when you let things like this eat at you until you feel next to nothing. I don’t blame you for what happened. You’ve proven yourself time and time again.” 

She lays her hand on the flat of his chest, the place where his own scar lied and he inhales sharply. The throbbing on his chest elicits a pleasurable thrum in his groin. Katara’s elated, seeing Zuko’s gaze go half hooded. The way he’s looking at her now sends tendrils up and down her spine. Katara suddenly feels shy in his presence, like she had been caught under the scrutiny of a stranger. Yet, at the same time, it feels new- a good new.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to kiss you.” Katara breathes.

Zuko’s good eye widens, his heart pounding so loud in his ears, he barely hears her. It isn’t fair. He’s only been here two months and it isn’t fair how quick his feelings change. No amount of force on his end could stop where this was going. _Mai_ , he thinks one last time but her face fades away and all he can see are large blue eyes. “Then I’ll just look at you like this all the time.”

The air leaves his lung in a harsh gasp, Katara having cupped the nape of his neck to bring him to her lips. He returns the kiss with more fervor, slotting his mouth over hers, groaning his approval. Callous fingers trail along the softness of her hip, burying so deep he fears he might bruise her. He flushes her to him, allowing the heat of his broad chest to overcome her. Katara shudders and mewls in his arms, lacing her fingers in his shaggy hair and tugging sharply, and he’s pleased. One hard kiss and Zuko already has her weak in the knees. 

Katara breaks away to her reluctance. “Hold on.” She presses a finger to his lips. “I got a surprise for you.”

Like that, Katara dashes to the living room, leaving a very horny and painfully erect Zuko standing there in confusion. He hears a giggle from behind the flap, parting open moments later and in comes his wife wrapped in red satin, threaded in gold designs of a large peacock surrounded by blossoms, swaying seductively towards him.

“You...bought it? W-Why? I thought…” Zuko licks his lips, his throat going dry. He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Having had a totally different idea for using the material, Katara seems to have put it to better use. 

“Mhm.” She smiles mischievously. “It was expensive but nothing we can’t make up for with a few more waterbending lessons and if you take up some private sessions with any of the warriors over the next month. Remember when you said you liked me in red?”

He doesn’t, probably having taken place before his arrival, but Zuko nods anyways. She looks appetizing in red. “Yes.” He husks, his pants growing uncomfortably tight. “Red is a good color on you.”

“Really? What about gold?”

She opens the fabric to reveal that she was naked save a gold lariat necklace that hung between her breasts all the way to her belly button. "From our wedding day." She reminds him. Fringes dangled around the choker until it reached the center where a ruby was encrusted. 

Zuko’s jaw unhinges. Agni, gold suits her so better, never mind that she’s exposed for all of him to see- from the peaks of her dusky nipples to the dark curls between her legs- but gold fits so perfectly against her smooth, brown skin. Heat spiked on his skin, raising the hairs on his neck as though he had just been possessed by instinct and it’s all he can take to stand there and watch, rushing over his wife and snatching her in his arms. Katara instinctively wraps her legs around him, grinding her pelvis into his. Zuko's tongue eased between the seams of her lips. Katara parts obediently, melting into the magnetic pull of his fiery kiss.

She’s wet. He can feel it through his trousers. Spread open and hot. His cock twitches and he matches her rhythm, rutting his hips, though more desperately. Being a virgin, he had no idea where to start, but he was caught in a haze, clumsily kneading her bare breasts with the palm of his large hand or unskillfully brushing her clit with the pad of his thumb but the gasp leaving her mouth was all he needed to urge him on. Sending hot breath between them as the arousal burns hotter and Zuko’s fighting to control his bending. 

“ _Agni_.” He whines, falling on top of the furs with Katara straddling him. He lets out a raw groan when she reaches in his pants, cupping his length and balls. “Oh...fuck…” 

“Touch me too, love.” Katara takes his hand, bringing it between her legs. Zuko’s panting fast, his heart rate rushing a mile a minute and the blood rushing to his cock is making him dizzy at a rapid pace. The heat of her sex grazed his fingertips, glossed with wetness. She’s slick, warm. A rush of blood pulsed to his groin and he’s harder than he can ever remember being before, the bulb of his length becoming over sensitive and the palm of Katara's hand is only adding fuel to the fire. 

Zuko eyes flutter close, bombarded with a million emotions, a million different tingles that buzzed on his skin and enraptured him. “I-I-” He stutters, Katara aiding him in sinking his fingers past the barriers of her velvety petals. With his other hand, she brings his thumb to her mouth, humming as she sucks without resolve before removing it with a pop, giving Zuko a demonstration of what she plans on doing to him next. It’s too much. Too much and not enough. 

He’s bursting with pleasure and a need to explode. It comes before he could stop it, Zuko’s eyes rolling to the back of his head and his mouth gaping open in a silent moan. It grabs him by the gut, Zuko fisting the furs beneath him. He shook and sputtered upon losing himself, shutting his eyes tight in utter shame as Katara watched him blow a load in his pants. 

“Spirits.” He wants to bury himself in a hole right now. There’s no excuse he could conjure up that could diminish the awkward tension brewing in the room. This time around he was serious only to be a complete disappointment. “I don’t- I mean-”

“Oh.” Katara’s face heats in discomfiture. “That’s...never happened before.”

“I can’t begin to- Katara, I’m sorry.” 

“Actually.” She covers her cheek, trying to hide the tint painting it. Zuko always had better control but something about losing himself over foreplay alone...well, that gave Katara an unexpected sense of satisfaction. “I’m actually flattered. That was kind of a turn on.”

Zuko blinks. A turn on? Of all the things in the world, this is what turns her on? His humiliation? Was sex that complex? Either way, he wanted their first time together to be memorable. In this case, it was. 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s been a while.” She brushes back his sweat drenched hair, coming in to kiss him fully. His brows pinch, “We can always try again tomorrow.” 

Katara’s sincerity is touching but after this, Zuko isn’t sure he has the confidence.

* * *

Like always, Zuko drags out of bed when Ursa’s crying reaches his ear. He felt the sun pull him awake moments ago, and it was the same for his children. He honestly doesn’t doubt if Ursa ends up a firebender as well but it was hard telling at this age. Ozai would be disappointed if he learned his grandchildren didn’t have the ‘spark’ when born. The Fire Nation Prince rolls his eyes, shuffling his feet to the kitchen and putting on a pot of tea before going to Ursa and Kya’s room. Ursa’s bouncing in her bassinet, clapping her hands when she sees her father enter and reaches out for him.

“Good morning, Ursa. My precious girl.” Zuko smiles groggily, rubbing her baby belly and making her giggle. “Such a good girl. Who’s hungry?”

“Me, me, me.” Kya squeals, hopping off the bed and scurrying to her father. 

“Okay, okay. First things first.” Zuko digs through the sack of clean clothes he had washed recently and laid out a couple outfits. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, having caused a few permanent stains while doing the laundry. He doesn’t know when he had gotten accustomed to this place but he’s starting to care a little too much about perfecting his chores. 

Taking a seat on the floor, he gestures for Kya to sit on his lap, grabbing a whale bone comb and tucking a few hairpins between his teeth. He puts the little girl’s hair in a ponytail before fluffing it in a bun and allowing the rest to fall to her back. Normally Kya wore it in a braid but Zuko failed miserably at every try and eventually she accepted whatever style he was able to accomplish. He hands her a mirror when he finishes. 

Kya examines the new hairstyle.

“What do you think?” Zuko asks.

“I love it!” She grins, colliding into her father’s chest to give him a hug. “Thank you.”

“Of course, sweetie.” He says, petting her head.

It’s time to fix breakfast, telling Kya to play in the living room so that he could take Ursa to Katara to be fed. He’s shocked to see his wife already awake, trying to suppress a grin with something hidden behind her back. 

“Happy Anniversary.” She brings an animal skin wrapped present to her lap.

_Oh no._

“Don’t just stand there gawking! Open it!” She takes Ursa from him and sits her on the bed, leaving him dumbfounded. “Come on, Come on! I made it myself, exactly like the one you had back in the Fire Nation.”

“Of course you did.” He smiles sheepishly, untying the knot and finding a robe made from satin, the stitch is in black and gold, sewn into a dragon curling from the bottom with its claws and teeth bared, skillfully done at that. She must have done this while he was at her brother’s place. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“I had to make it in a rush but I think it’ll look great on you, Zuko. You’ve worked so hard. Enjoy it.” She says sincerely. Katara closes her eyes, holding her hands out. “Okay, your turn.”

“Yeah, um.”

“I can’t wait to see what you got me. Spirits, I’m surprised you held out this long. You can never keep a secret.”

“That’s me, isn’t it?” He sighs heavily. “You see, I kind of...forgot.”

“What?” Her eyes snap open, staring at him in disbelief. Her hands fall flat in her lap. “You forgot?”

“Things have been crazy lately. And my head’s been boggled. Look, that’s not an excuse, I swear. How can I make it up to you?” Zuko takes both her hands in his only for her to pull away. 

“You forgot.” She repeats. “I can’t believe you forgot.”

“Later tonight. I’m sure I can do something. Just give me some time, I can fix it.”

Katara purses her lips, shaking her head. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and for the first time since he’s been here, Zuko sees her shed a single tear. “I don’t think you can.”


	5. A Trip To Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had it coming. Katara has resorted to completely ignoring Zuko at all cost while he comes up with a plan to fix forgetting their anniversary. The family makes a trip to Ember Island, and along the way not only does Zuko learn it will take more effort than a simple trip to make things right, an unexpected visitor appears.
> 
> It isn't enough that he grown attached to his newfound family, his desire to return home beginning to fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the long waited chapter. I manage to make it on my predicted date somehow, having broken my toe the day before *sobs*. And, woah, I was not expecting to write an 8K word chapter but it got away from me, lol. Thank you for all the wonderful comments! Let me know what you guys think this chapter.

“What am I going to do?” First, the incident from last night and now this? Why is he so bad at being good? One step forward and another set back is waiting to tip him on the heel. The spirits weren’t looking out for him to redeem himself. They weren’t looking out for him at all. 

He had seen Katara hurt on numerous occasions, some which he wished he could have erased if given the courage to do so- and not after fully realizing the feelings he harbored for her. What he saw in that moment was the remaining shred of respect she had in him dwindle. The aftermath of his delayed awareness had a strong effect on him, and Zuko wants nothing more than to patch up his mistakes.

But how will he win her over? The other Zuko might have an idea but unfortunate for him, the other Zuko wasn’t here to give him advice- not that it would work in his favor. In fact, if he were here, Zuko wouldn’t be and he selfishly denied accepting that. So he swallows it whole, quietly letting it slip in the back of his thoughts and focuses on what to do about Katara.

“I’m sorry.” Kya says, petting her father’s head, comforting him as he was splayed out on the bed, face buried in the furs. “I should have told you they’re anniversary was coming up. Daddy always does something really special for her.”

“How special?’ Zuko inquires, turning his head to the side to look up at his daughter. She’s five but he’ll take any advice at this point. Katara shut down completely, going about her day as though it were any other, except Zuko didn’t exist. She bathed, ate breakfast and hugged the girls before setting off for work. She didn’t even glance at Zuko, finding himself disappointed that he had not received the affection she often gave him when departing for work. And who could blame her, he was a lousy excuse for a spouse.

Kya ponders this, eyes flickering to the ceiling. “Last year he took Mommy out on a boat overnight and they cuddled while watching a meteor shower together.”

“That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

Kya shrugs. “Mommy liked it. She said it was the most romantic thing Daddy ever did. He made her a picnic and everything and they spent all night talking.”

“Talking?” If that’s what Katara wanted to call it. Zuko was tempted to roll his eyes but he would not insult his daughter by doing so. Katara apparently preferred pensive gifts over finery; the thought of the gift mattered more than the gift itself and he highly doubts the other Zuko could afford to do something grand so he had to resort to making big gestures. Well, if that happens to be the highlight of their married life, surely he can come up with a much better one. 

Zuko’s never catered to another person and he’s never had to make the effort to impress a girl- if you don’t count his date with Jin but then again she made the initiative and he went along with it. The same with Mai. _She_ approached him with an open invitation and he happily accepted. A Fire Nation noblewoman with a respectable background was ideal for any prince. And yet, he wasn’t happy.

Being a prince was all he wanted and three years separated from his homeland concluded how even less he belonged. The crushing weight, the guilt, the constant look over his shoulder- none of regaining the honor his father bestowed him erased any of it and Zuko contemplates when he was ever truly happy. 

His eyes shift to Kya and Ursa, his oldest playing peek-a-boo on the bed with her sister, making Ursa laugh hysterically. Every day here had been...simple. All the complications and stress of being an heir were far away and he had gained a family who loved him unconditionally with no motives. Katara loves him unconditionally. He sees now why his future self had been so infatuated with her all this time. This is what they mean by better half, Zuko thinks, despite how horrid he had been to Katara.

“So, he always does something big for your mom?” Zuko interrupts their game.

“Yup”

“Okay…” _Something big, something big._ “What about jewelry?” 

Kya’s expression sours. “Mmm, not really. Mommy doesn’t really wear any other than Gran Gran’s necklace.” 

Okay, scratch that. “What about a vacation? Has she been to Ember Island?” 

Kya grins, nodding her head in approval. “Now you’re getting it.”

Zuko smiles, pleased with himself. He could take her to Ember Island, her and the children. His guess is, they’ve never been so he could make a family vacation out of it. Give Katara a piece of their past they didn’t have the luxury of affording anymore. She can’t possibly say no to that, especially if he mentions bringing the girls along. Ember Island was beautiful from its beaches to its entertainment and festivities. He’s bound to get on her good side if he took her on a stroll under the stars or even allowed her to relax while being catered by servants. It was perfect. He’s not a romance expert in the slightest but who could resist rekindling in a setting like that. 

“There’s something I need to do. Kaya, go get changed, we’re heading out.” He tells her, abruptly getting up from bed and retrieving Ursa for her afternoon nap but not without digging for something hidden in one of the cases. 

Iroh’s letters. He could help and this could also be his only opportunity to confront his Uncle. 

Pulling out ink and blank parchment, Zuko scribbles a quick reply along with some requests. Sealing it before preparing to leave for the post. 

* * *

Kya squealed, clapping her hands when the airship landed and all Ursa could do was stare wide eyed at the large structure. Turns out, Katara had visited Ember Island before, many years ago while hiding out during the war. The other Zuko having guided her and her friends there under his father’s nose after Ba Sing Sa’s downfall. Katara wasn’t exactly dismissive at the idea, stating it was something the girls might enjoy, rather than show excitement that he was making an effort towards patching up their marriage. 

At first, a part of Zuko worried Katara going to the island might have left a taste in her mouth due to the war but a conversation between her and her brother reminiscing stated otherwise. That gave him a piece of mind, as well as the excitement on the children’s faces. Katara was still unappeased by his attempt to make it up to her; unforgiving that he had forgotten their anniversary last week. Unforgiving that he had been a distant husband. 

“Wow. What a beauty. Wish I was going with you.” Sokka pouted earlier before he, Katara and the children took off. 

“I told you, you and Suki could accompany us.” Zuko reminded him, though he was happy the water tribesman declined, wanting to spend some proper alone time with Katara and his family.

“Wish I could. Suki’s too far along and we can’t chance her giving birth during flight. Besides, there’s no way I’m going anywhere with my sister in _that_ mood.” Sokka jerks his head in Katara’s direction where she’s exchanging friendly conversation with the captain, one whom she apparently has already been acquainted with while an ambassador. She catches her husband and brother looking, responding with a scowl and both men awkwardly wave to her. “Good luck with that, buddy.” 

“All set?” Hakoda approaches the men, having come out to bid his family a good trip. “You’ve chosen a great time to take a holiday, we’re expecting heavy snowstorms soon.” 

“If anything we’ll be back after it passes.”

Hakoda crosses his arms over his chest, noting Zuko’s apprehension. “Look, son. It hasn’t been pleasant between you and Katara lately. Don’t let it discourage you. My daughter doesn’t stay mad forever, so long as you have good intentions, and I know you do. Use this opportunity to make it right. Every marriage has its bumps, all you need to do is find a middle ground and it’ll all piece together.”

“I appreciate that, Hakoda.” Zuko has grown to deeply respect Hakoda. Ozai never did call him son, not until he thought he had killed the Avatar. The difference is, Hakoda wasn’t expecting anything of Zuko other than being a decent person and Zuko hates himself for having found that kind of love and respect from Iroh only to do the most horrible thing to him in return. He might as well have put a knife to his Uncle’s back. 

There’s no time for self pity. The captain, Chey, announced they’ll be departing soon, offering to show the family to their cabin. Zuko, Katara and the girls wish the rest of the family goodbye, following the captain aboard the airship. 

“Woooow.” Kya’s eyes widened, taking in all that decor, the artifacts, and colors of the other half of her nationality. She nor her sister have ever been surrounded by such vibrant red and gold, and not just that, everything was brilliantly extravagant; from the drapes to the arranged table in the middle of their cabin displayed with fresh food and wine. “Look at the bed, Mommy, it’s huge!” 

Zuko smiles, bowing to Chey who leaves the family some privacy. “Lunch will be provided very shortly, Prince Zuko.”

His face turns to stone, the familiar sound of his title leaving dread to settle in his chest. “Please, just Zuko. I haven't been a prince in a long time.”

“As you wish.” The captain returns the bow.

“Do you like it, love?” Zuko changes the subject, noticing the confused look Katara shot at him after the captain had mistakenly announced his former title. 

“I love it.” Kya exclaims, running to the center of the room and falling into the large bed, burying her face into the soft mattress with a sigh. “It feels like clouds.”

Zuko chuckles, placing Ursa on the floor so that she could explore the room too, crawling first to a chest of toys Iroh had made sure was provided for his great nieces. He grins at Katara, who does not return it. He’s really messed up but he’s confident that the getaway will mend what he had broken. 

Katara quietly settles them in while Zuko entertains their daughters. The airship will take a day and a half to reach Ember Island as long as the weather was in favor.

Admittedly, Zuko had been selfishly desperate to return to the Fire Nation even if for a little. A piece of home could surely give him solace despite his undeniable attachment to Kya and Ursa. Regardless, he still missed it. On top of that, there were unanswered questions he desired to know. He’ll just have to think of a way to see his uncle without disrupting his progress with Katara. 

_Katara._ He glances through his peripheral vision to see what she was up to. If she noticed him staring in the least, she’d shoot him a glare. In her hand was a scroll, one which she was looking intently at with deep interest.

_ Love Amongst the Dragons. _

He smiles. That was his mother’s favorite too.

She caught him. That goofy smile he always does when he tries to butter her up, well, she won’t let it slide this time. Though, on Zuko’s end, he doesn’t have a clue. 

“I think I’ll take a walk.” Katara says, moving to her feet and gathering a shawl. 

“They’ll be bringing lunch soon.” Zuko informs. To his disappointment, it has no effect, Katara tucking the scroll under her arm and exiting the room.

* * *

A single day had come and gone and the tension still remained. Katara had spent most of her time between socializing with the crew and spending time with their daughters. Only when it was time for bed- to his surprise- did she make physical contact with him, lying next to him and angrily throwing his arm around her waist. 

“To be clear,” She corrected before Zuko could think on the matter. “This does not mean I’ve forgiven you. We made a promise never to go to bed mad at each other, and unlike you, I keep my promises.”

That struck him cord. Nonetheless, her form fit against his like a puzzle piece and if it meant she would be angry with him forever, then he’ll accept it as long as he at least has this. Then morning rose. The harsh existence of their marital problems still laid as heavy between them as the day before. 

Then there it was, the endless sea breaking pattern in the distance to reveal a group of islands up ahead. The ice and cold were far behind. It seemed like not long ago, he was just arriving but in this lifetime, he hadn’t set eyes on his homeland in two years. And at the lip of the airship stood his wife dressed for the weather and clothed in red. Zuko was right, she was perfect in red; the colors clashed elegantantly with her brown skin glowing against the sun and her chocolate hair drifted in the wind like she was an unworldly beauty. 

His heart sped up. Zuko clenched the front of his tunic, the need for air taking up in his lungs. What he’s feared aside from being trapped here has come to flourish. This was more than a case of infatuation...but Zuko wasn't ready to admit yet.

“I’ve been a pretty big disappointment.” He had suddenly appeared next to her, emitting the warmth he always did when he stood by her. Dawn had broken and the captain had informed them that they would be arriving mid morning. 

The scent of sandalwood and vanilla met her nostrils, and Zuko observed the blush gracing her cheeks. She tried not to eye the outfit he had changed into, choosing to ignore the sleeveless tunic that showed off his muscular physique. He had just come out from bathing, having settled on an oil he always preferred. “I don’t want to fight.”

“No one is fighting, Zuko.” Katara deadpanned. “I’m contemplating.”

“D-do you want to talk about it.”

“What’s to talk about? I don’t want to be negative during this trip but at the same time it’s hard when I feel like everything I’ve known and loved about us is slipping away.” 

His good eye widened, feeling trapped behind how to handle a situation he had no experience in. He’s still a kid. 

“You hate it?” He asks. Maybe the idea of going to Ember Island was too traumatic. “We could have gone somewhere else.”

“No. I don’t hate it. It has nothing to do with Ember Island. I've always loved the Fire Nation.”

His brows shot up. “Oh. I assumed-”

“You assumed wrong. My patience has been running thin and if not for Kya and Ursa, I’d be staying at my Dad’s right now.”

“You don’t mean that. Katara, Don’t shut me out.” Zuko pleads, linking his hand with hers. There’s a spark of hope when her shoulders relax and the length of her body leans closer to him as though it has been seeking his warmth all this time. His free hand finds her shoulder, brushing his thumb over the ball of her bare skin and drinking in the way that makes her shiver. She’s small, so tiny compared to him. Zuko likes that, and all he wants is to wrap himself around her. 

“Then you should not have shut me out first.” Katara grits, pulling back from his hold and retreating from the deck. 

  
  


“The beach, Mommy, the beach!” Kya shouts, burying her feet ankle deep in the sand. Indeed, her first time in the Fire Nation. Zuko, Katara and Ursa behind her after dropping off their belongings at the beach house.

The former prince wasn’t exactly thrilled to find out Iroh had restored his family’s former beach house. Granted, it had been remodeled and refurbished as though there were not a trace of the previous owners’ existence; Zuko believed his Uncle should have left the place to rot. 

The looks on Kya and Ursa’s faces were enough to cope through it. The place was like a palace to them. Servants waited patiently at the front of the lounging area, giving a traditional bow to the former Fire Nation prince and his family. Zuko smirked at how bashful the girls were at the attention. They deserved it, being that royalty courses through their veins. 

Katara- Agni, bless her- is so humble. She greets the servants with kindness and light chatting. While most nobles wouldn’t bother to take a second glance at any of a servant's faces, Katara learns their names and joins them in the kitchen for a while.

Zuko wanted to get the family to the beach before sunset, Kya being the first to bolt towards the shore as soon as her father slid the back door leading to the beach open. He half expected her to complain of the heat or the travel, having not stepped foot in the Fire Nation since her birth.

“ _Whoa_ .” A small hand picks up an object glinting in the sand. “It’s so pretty.” Kya’s eyes shine, brushing away wet sand to reveal a coral shaded seashell. 

“There’s lots of seashells all over the beach.” Katara tells her. “Whatever you find, you can take home with you.”

“Yay! I’m going to take home a hundred.” 

“We’ve got plenty of time for that.” Zuko says, opening the umbrella and placing Ursa on the beach blanket while Katara settled next to her. “Race you to the water?”

Kya gives her father a challenging glare then a huge smile stretches on her lips. “Okay.”

“We go on the count of three. One. Two-“

Kya takes off, giving Zuko no chance to count to three before running towards the water, a clear grin plastered on her face. It’s a second too late before he reacts, Katara laughing at him to run too. Zuko chases after. Of course, being much taller, his strides had gotten him there faster but not without sweeping up Kya- who’s little legs didn’t reach the water in time- and tossed she’s in the air.

“You little cheat.” Zuko chuckles, cradling Kya then burying his face into her belly and blowing raspberries. 

She kicks and squeals, begging her father to stop. He takes them into the water, waist deep. Kya’s laugh is contagious, Zuko’s losing it along with her. 

“You know what happens to cheaters?” Zuko asks, finally able to catch his breath. She shakes her head, burying her face into his chest, preparing herself for what’s to come. Kya yelps, getting tossed in the water. 

“Hey, no fair!” She cries, breaking the surface and splashes water at Zuko who pretends he’s trying to swim away and let’s Kya tackle him. 

They run along the shore, Kya chasing after and Zuko dodging her every attempt until they fall backwards in the sand. She pounces on Zuko’s chest with a ‘humph’, a slight crack indicating his physical age and the former Prince notes that he needs to get used to this unfamiliar body soon. 

Kya looks up, canting her head to Zuko’s confusion. She reaches out, cupping his face and observes him closely, ignoring her father’s contorted expression. Blue eyes examine him; his nose, ears, and mouth, her scrutiny unreadable. A soft sigh escapes her and her arms wrap tightly around Zuko’s neck. “I knew you’d come back.” She whispers. 

He parts briefly. Touched that she thought he was her real father come back to her. He should correct her. He should tell her she’s wrong and that he can never be her father. That what he feels about her and Ursa can never be real and that tomorrow, he may disappear without a trace and they will be but a distant memory. A dream. Surely, Zuko can live with that. 

“I love you so much, Kya.” He confesses, bringing her to his chest and placing a kiss on her forehead. 

Consequences be damned.

A shadow comes over the two, Zuko thinking Katara had left her spot on the beach to join them. Lifting his head, the sinking sun cast a silhouette of a woman that was not his wife. Her long dark brown hair sifted with the ocean breeze. One step closer to them, she reveals she is indeed not Katara, her smile as brilliant and radiant as Zuko remembers. 

He stumbles to his feet while holding Kya, reaching a height that surpasses her; needing to lean his head to get a better visual of the woman before him. He thought it utterly hopeless. Somehow a miracle was in his presence and Zuko can’t seem to find his voice. 

  
_Mom._

“Hi, Nana.” Kya greeted, reaching her arms out, Ursa accepting her eager hug.

“There’s my big girl.” Ursa coos, lifting Kya on her hip and brushing the sand from her pudgy cheeks.

“Look, Nana. I lost two baby teeth.” The little girl showed her. 

“My, so soon? Nana won’t be able to carry you around anymore.” 

He can only stare. Disbelief shadows his face and everything he’s ever wanted to say since the day she left couldn’t find his tongue. 

“Ursa. I didn’t see you at the beach house when we arrived, so I was worried you wouldn’t make it. I wish Zuko would've told me you might be a little late.”

Ursa turned to her daughter-in-law who was holding their youngest, putting Kya down and tapping the baby’s nose with her finger. “Is that my little Ursa? Nana hasn’t seen you since you were born.” She takes little Ursa into her arms, “Iroh had written to me, telling me you all would be here on a vacation. I decided to surprise you.”

Katara’s brow furrowed, snapping in Zuko’s direction. “Zuko, you never invited your mother?”

His mouth opened and closed like a fish. 

“I’m sorry, Ursa. I don’t know what’s going on with him lately. I'm sure he meant to. “

“No worries. I’m just glad to be here.” 

They get along well, Katara and Ursa. They hug and chat as though they had been family more than the six years Katara and him had been married. What begs to question, when did Ursa come back in his life and why did she leave. He had mixed feelings of seeing his mom again- both joy and anger. Joy, because it had confirmed she had been alive all along. Anger, because she abandoned him when Zuko needed her the most. 

Ursa’s hair is longer, still styled in the way she had always had it as a princess. The lines on her face were visible but accented her beauty and it actually made her seem more graceful. And her features truly confirmed that his youngest is a spitting image of her. . 

“Hey, Zuko, can I take Kya in the water to play?”

Coming up to hug his side is a young girl of about fifteen. His mind immediately goes to Azula, only her face is more rounded and the top half of her hair is in a ponytail.

“Please? We won’t run off like we did last time.”

“Well, they are less likely to leave our sight on the beach then on ice caps, love.” Ursa chuckled.

“S-sure.” Was all Zuko could muster.

“Come on, Aunt Kiyi, let's go play in the water.” Kya tugged her along, the two holding hands as they ran towards the water. 

“You wouldn’t think with the age gap those two would be so mischievous together. Kiyi loves seeing the girls, it’s the highlight every year we come to visit the South Pole.” Ursa says.

“Well, maybe we can meet halfway more often and visit here. Right, Zuko?”

The two women are stunned by his sudden proximity, Zuko taking Ursa’s hand, testing to see if she was really here. The biggest missing piece in his life and he’s more confused than ever. But one thing manages to grasp Zuko and he finally finds his voice. “I’ve missed you.”

Ursa’s taken aback. Granted, the last she saw her son was after little Ursa’s birth but even that was some time ago. She smiles, squeezing Zuko’s hand back, heartfelt. “I’ve missed you too, love.”

* * *

There’s a lot to unpack. Zuko thought waking up in the South Pole was life shattering but this takes the cake. Getting his nerves under control proved hard and the break down that had built over the course of eighteen years was balling in his gut. He needed to absorb this because it was happening all at once and he just can’t sort it out fast enough. 

Ursa was alive. Remarried, in fact, and had another child with another man. Which, lucky for him, was unavailable and unable to join them at Ember Island. Zuko couldn’t handle that if he tried, not that he wasn’t happy for his mother- in the end, there was still this lingering feeling of abandonment. Ursa had gone and lived a whole other life without him while his father treated him like the dirt below his feet. 

That’s why he’s excused himself, escaping to his room and leaving his family to play on the beach. He’s supposed to be fixing things...not running away like a scared little boy. 

“You’re hyperventilating.” Katara says, approaching him sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. Zuko had not anticipated for her to check on him, their marriage being on the rocks and all. “The last time I saw you like this was in Hira’a. I thought you were going to leave and never speak to your mother again. She’s worried, you know.”

He sighs. “I don’t want her to worry. I’m just...I’m my feelings right now. I’m sorry. Some anniversary trip this turned out.”

Katara nodded, having forgotten for a moment that she was livid with him. Albeit, the softer side of her couldn’t ignore that her husband was conflicted. 

“Why aren’t you with the others?” Zuko asked. “Don’t let my negativity dampen everyone’s good time.”

She sighs. “Why must you be so moody at the most unreasonable time?”

“I’m sorry, Katara, I haven’t exactly been the perfect husband. It’s hard when you don’t exactly let me in.” He seethes. It takes seconds before he regrets his outbursts.

“Well, it’s hard to let someone in when they’re being a complete ass.” She retorts.

Zuko opens his hands in a plea, at his wits end. “What do you want me to do? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. You want me to grovel at your feet? Fine! I grovel and beg like that piece of shit I am.” 

Katara throws her hands up in the air in defeat. “I give up!” She proclaims, turning on her heels but stops, refusing to let go. “You know what? No, let’s hash this out, Zuko.” She presses, pushing a harsh finger into his chest. “Tell me what it is? Is it your mom? Is it me? Is there this distraction so big that it clouds out your judgement and makes you forget anniversaries?”

Zuko’s baffled, jumps to his feet because her outburst struck a nerve. The dark cloud that’s loomed over him since the catacombs reappears, the slithering snake of his guilt weaved in and played on Zuko’s doubts. He doesn’t like to be reminded what a shitty person he is. He can’t shake how maddening it is to prove himself when she won’t even give him the chance. He cares so damn much. Why does he put up with this?

_Because you love her_. A gentle voice reminds him. _Because fighting for her is worth more than never having her at all because nothing worth having comes easy._

Zuko’s always fought for an easy way out, though he struggled, the one goal in mind was enough to motivate him. So when Azula killed the Avatar and gave Zuko the credit, he snatched it up and let the rest fall in his lap, his conscience be damned. Then, he was miserable. 

Katara and him were like night and day. She challenged him, crossed him and didn’t think twice about telling him what’s on her mind. But through these, she’s motivated him and supported him. Gave him two beautiful children and loved him, looking past the worst of him and accepting that even though Zuko was once her enemy, she always appreciated him for what he was now. 

“I’m scared.” She bites her lip, choking back a sob that threatened to come out. “I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and you’ll want to leave. You won’t touch me, or kiss me or fuck me-“

She gasped, now flushed against Zuko, one hand pressed to the base of her spine and the other cupped the nape of her neck. Katara’s heart jump started, Zuko’s breath brushing her sensitive ear lobe and her tear glossed eyes blink rapidly. 

He had forgotten himself. 

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I’m not going anywhere. I’m scared too but not enough to envision ever abandoning you. I would do anything. Anything, You deserve to be reminded of that everyday. And as for the last part, I want to fuck you, Katara. I want to fuck you so bad that it’s taking every ounce of me not to throw you on that bed and have my way with you in every position I can imagine.” 

She keened, Zuko’s lips brushing her jaw then coming up to kiss chastely on her forehead. The placement of that kiss was so gentle, so breathtakingly sweet, the air in her lungs stilled and a blush graced her cheeks. 

“Give me a few moments and I’ll prove that to you.” He reassures. 

That feeling, the one she’s felt the night after the solstice, she now recognizes as the first time. When they were young and clumsy and nothing else existed in the world but them. Her heartbeat pounds with unexpected anticipation, his lips imprinted where they trailed, and Katara’s eyes fluttered close at the sensation. The spark, renewed, set light thrums of electricity across her skin. 

She tells herself not to give in so easily. Make Zuko work for the way he’s taken her for granted. No matter how long she tries to cling on to her anger, regardless of how reasonable her resentments are, she can’t find it in her heart to continue. “Don’t think you’re out of hot water yet.”

Zuko chuckles, grazing his thumb below her ear. Her lips break into a seductive smile, coaxing him to trial his thumb to that place. He wants to worship that place, steal every exhale she makes just like she’s doing now. The temptation had his temperature rising. But first, he has to set aside these lingering preplextions. “Will you wait for me here?”

“Where are you going?”

“Do you trust me?”

Katara stared at him incredulously but then answered. “Of course.”

* * *

Kiyi is teaching Kya handstands by a fire while little Ursa is worn out, sleeping across her grandmother’s lap. Ursa herself is looking past her daughter and grandchild, gaze fixated on the ocean- the sun having disappeared and the moon now reflected on the water. A picture perfect scene, one that Zuko considered impossible. 

His quiet footsteps in the sand didn’t stir Ursa who sat upright on the beach blanket with her legs crossed as she hummed a tune to which his youngest had seemed to have fallen asleep to as her grandmother stroked her hair. Zuko’s mother always had a gentle nature about her.

“You can sit next to me, you know. I haven’t seen any turtleducks about, so you’re safe for now.” Ursa patted the space next to her, the tender smile he had long wanted to see again present on her face, revealing the dimples on her cheeks. 

Zuko mirrored her with his own, crossing his legs in a lotus style when seated next to her. An indication of his willingness but also a position in which stated he still had his guard up. He wasn’t sure what kind of relationship his mother and his future self had but he hadn’t the mindfulness to keep up appearances. Doing that with his wife and family is hard enough, trying with the very person who disappeared without a trace to start a whole other family was another. 

“You said you missed me earlier. That's an improvement.” Ursa half heartedly jokes, her hushed laugh fading.

Zuko blinked. So their relationship wasn’t on good terms. “It’s the truth.” He replied.

He can tell she’s nervous, his mother shifting uncomfortably. He had imagined that if they ever reunited, things would return to normal as though the years lost between them never happened. Instead, Zuko feels disappointment. He had nothing against Kiyi. In fact, he’s happy to see he had a sibling that didn’t have a vindictive motive against him. But that’s what makes Zuko resent Ursa all the more. If she had taken him and Azula with her, would they have turned out better people? With a happy childhood like Kiyi? 

“That means a lot.” Ursa whispered. 

“What happened to us?” Zuko asked before he could stop himself, fear clutched at his heart because now he was afraid of the answer.

Her eyes widened, obvious that Zuko’s never asked her this question before. She swallows hard before answering. “I wish I knew. But if I were to blame anyone, it would be myself. I’m lucky enough you allowed me to be in my grandchildren’s lives. And Katara, heavens, I can’t imagine never meeting her.”

“They’re good.” Zuko agrees. “Too good for me. Yet, here we are.”

Ursa gave him a pained expression. “I don’t know where you’re getting at, Zuko.”

He exhaled a heavy sigh, reaching out and enclosing his hand over hers. She left to protect him and Azula, that part he picked up long ago. Ozai was a sinister man and power hungry to boot. If anyone were to play a part in his mother’s disappearance, it would certainly be him. In the end, Zuko couldn’t fathom ever abandoning his family. No amount of fear his father could emanate would ever persuade him to commit that. “Does that matter?” He asks more himself than her. 

“Yes.” She sighed. “But only on your own terms.” 

On his own terms. No one’s given him the luxury aside from his uncle. Coming here, he’s discovered a place where he is genuinely accepted and his feelings count for something. Not by one, but many people. And though things were strained now, Zuko is confident that he can gain a portion of what he and his mother had lost despite the other Zuko probably having no intentions. 

Yue mentioned how being here was more than he deserved. It’s true. Zuko had been given a second chance and maybe the way his future self handled things didn’t suit the spirits either; having not returned to the Fire Nation in two year, staying holed up in the South Pole, and keeping his mother and Uncle at arms length. He can change that, starting now.

“I love you, mom.”

Ursa isn’t so quick to hide the tear falling from the pit of her eye before wiping it from her cheek. “I love you too, Zuko.”

“And I love you, daddy!” Kya squeals, hopping on her father’s lap. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do. No one could forget you, turtleduck.” Zuko grinned, displaying fierce kisses all over her daughter's chubby cheeks until she whines.

“Yuck. Gross, daddy, come on.”

“Certainly you’re not too old for kisses.” Ursa mocked a pout, before coming in to tackle her along with Zuko. Kya begs for her aunt Kiyi to save her, only for the teenager to betray her as well. The game ends in a fit of laughter that leaves them with their sides hurting and Kya feeling the exhaustion of a long day as her eyelids fought to stay open.

* * *

“Careful now.” He smirks over his shoulder. 

Katara huffs, pulling her foot out of the sand and clingering tighter to Zuko. “It doesn’t exactly help when you’re in a rush. My feet can’t exactly keep up with yours.”

He had forgotten their height difference. Katara had always been shorter than him but as an adult, it’s more so. While he had grown well past six feet Katara might have been awarded a few extra inches since she was sixteen but it was something he had noticed was common among watertibe women. While he was used to the tall, thin figures of Fire Nation women, water tribe women were the opposite; built for the harsh atmosphere of living on an icy tundra. 

“I’m sorry. Want me to carry you.” He teases.

Katara pursed her lips, fighting the heat suffusing her cheeks. “Thanks, but I’m a big girl.”

“I’ve never had my doubts about that.”

“Right. You made that quite clear before. ‘Well, aren’t you a big girl now.’” She mimics his voice. 

Zuko grimaced. Did he really say it like that? “Ugh, I wish I could erase that.”

“If you weren’t trying to steal my friend, I’d think you were flirting with me.” She laughs, coming in to nibble the ball of Zuko’s shoulder. It’s his turn to blush. He can dish out the banter but Katara always had a way to leave him tongue tied. 

“M-Maybe I was. Kind of…” He cut off. 

“Really?” Katara arched a brow. 

He shrugs. Maybe. It was more or less him trying to come off menacing, really. “We’re almost there.” He tugs her along. 

They reach a group of rocks not far from the shoreline, Zuko peeking over the corner to make sure no one else is around. There, a few feet out of view, was an entrance. A makeshift staircase of rocks led deep below the surface, Zuko igniting a flame in the palm of his hand. He guides Katara carefully, ensuring that she does not slip easily, enthralled how she clings to his side as they make their way down.

“Where are we?” She asks. 

Good. She’s never been brought here before. “You’ll like this.” Is all he clues her in on.

They reach the bottom and to Katara’s surprise, she can hear waves crashing somewhere below. Her eyes widen, looking up first at the wide open space above the cave exposing the night sky littered with stars and the moon positioned closer than Katara had ever seen. Her wondrous gaze then lands on a patch of sand beyond the water.

“What is this place?” She gasped.

“It’s a hidden cave.” Zuko replied, untying the sash to his sleeveless tunic and lifting it over his head. He climbs in the water first, burning out the flame and lifting the basket he brought on his shoulder. “We’ll have to swim to the beach.” He urged her to strip down to her bindings, in which she complied, eyes fixated on the scene before her, Zuko proud of his accomplishment. 

Reaching the patch of beach sand, Zuko stages the items they brought while Katara fascination draws her in to explore a part of the hidden cave. 

“So, how did I do?”

Katara makes a short laugh. “I don’t know how you’ve done it but I’m officially impressed.”

“I take it I'm in your good graces now.”

“Just about.” She quipped. “It’s still early.”

He builds a fire while Katara plays in the water, bending it in a dancelike motion that would put anyone in a trance. Her wet hair clung to her skin, droplets trickling down her exposed skin. Zuko licks his lips, feeling almost parched and tries concentrating on setting up their evening. That proves to be extremely difficult when she parts her lips and closes her eyes, lifting her head to the sky and showing off her neck. 

“Come here.” Zuko appears near her. She smiles serenely, accepting his embrace and stroking delicate fingers down the nape of his neck, provoking him to quiver.

“Agni, you’ll end me before we even start.” He hissed between clenched teeth. Wherever her touch lied, his skin prickles. 

“Oh? And what exactly did you have in mind?” Katara hums low.

“I...uh, I’ve brought food.” He insisted, changing the subject. Zuko didn’t want to seem needy nor did he have the confidence yet to make a smooth initiative even if he tried. 

Katara’s hands wander from his neck to his chest, paying special attention to his pectoral area, then trailing low until one hand reaches the treasure patch of hair that led below his trousers and her fingers linger there- right at the tip. Zuko swallows, the head of his cock centimeters from where her hand rested, having grown erect during her explorations. “Okay.” She agreed, wading out of the water. Zuko doesn’t remember holding his breath. He regains his composure, joining her. 

Ursa had kindly packed them something small since they would not be joining her, Kiyi and the girls for dinner. Kya probably couldn’t stay up long enough to finish her meal and Ursa slept mostly through breastfeeding.

They nibbled quietly on komodo rhino and sweetbread. While they ate, Zuko silently prays to Agni that he could get through this without another...incident. 

His hard concentration must be apparent because Katara breaks the awkward tension. “Can I have a grape?” 

“Sure.” He mumbles, reaching in the basket. “Here.”

“Feed it to me.” She requests.

Heat spiked in his belly. Zuko nodded eagerly, plucking one off the vine and pressing it on Katara's lips. She parts them, enclosing her mouth over his fingers and suckles slightly. Agni, he won’t make it. “H-How can you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Be so collected. Aren’t you nervous too.”

Katara snorted, swallowing the rest of the grape. “It’s not like it’s our first time.”

_It is for me._

Her expression turns to concern. “Zuko?”

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something you need to know that I should have been upfront about.”

It's okay. He should tell her. Zuko wants nothing more than to tell her who he is and that he could treat her so much better, love her so much better. Yes, it might come off that he was comparing to his other self but spirits knows if he’ll ever come back. _He's_ here now-  _this_ Zuko- with Katara, and for a reason beyond anything he could explain. Perhaps she’ll accept him for who he is, eventually she’ll come to love him just the same. She might think he’s crazy at first. Is it a risk he’s willing to take?

He doesn’t want her to love him because she thinks he’s her real husband. He wants her to love him for who he is, right here right now, in this moment with the night sky above them and her blue eyes dancing in the firelight. 

Zuko leans in, taking her mouth. Katara blinks, their lips linger there- unmoving, innocent. She closes her eyes, letting Zuko draw her into his lap, never breaking the kiss. They remain there, held in each other’s embrace until Katara pulls back for air. “What did you want to tell me?”

She’s radiant. There’s no place he’d rather be. Zuko wants to keep this forever, if she’ll let him.

His smile falters. _If._

“I love you.” He confesses instead.

Katara rests her forehead against his. Something in the way he says it makes her heart soar and her body come alive. She feels young again. His embrace, careful. His confession, pure. Now she’s feeling shy, her breath coming in quiet pants and she can hear Zuko do the same. “I love you too.” 

His lips come down harder this time, shaky and clumsy. Zuko fingers tremble as they brush the dip of her clavicle. He hears Katara gasp a ‘please’, encouraging him to play attention to the beautiful structure where he rained kisses. The muscles in his stomach bunch, electricity trailing down the furrow between the ridges of his spine. 

“More.” She mewls.

“Only if you’re good.” Zuko keens, smiling wolfishly into her throat. 

He caresses her neck, her shoulders, her sides, her stomach. Katara’s nipples pebble beneath her top bindings, aching to be let out. She wants so badly to just rip off their clothes and take out all her sexual frustration on him. She had been touch starved way too long but something in the way Zuko behaves during his ministrations tells her to let him have it this once. So, she bites her lip, hard. 

“None of that.” Zuko cups her chin, tongue lapping at her upper lip, coaxing her to release her bottom, leaving an opening to slip inside her mouth. 

“Ah!” Katara gasped. Her heart hammered in her chest, clinging tight to the hard muscles of his back, fingernails biting so deep they leave marks. She straddles him, seeking friction where the ache lied between her legs and her bindings are suddenly uncomfortable. 

“Lie down.” Zuko instructs, adjusting them both so that he was towering over her. He groans, lids going heavy with lust and his gold eyes turn molten at the sight of Katara on her back panting heavy and eagerly caressing the space between her legs while keeping her gaze steady on him. Her hips slightly off the ground, swiveling lewdly as her lower bindings dampen beneath her skilled fingers.

Zuko snatched her wrist, tossing it aside and pressing her knees to her chest so that she was wide open and exposed. “I thought we agreed you would be good.” He rasped, losing his voice. He had never been struck with so much desire; breath ragged and hot blood pulsed through his veins like an undercurrent of sexual awareness he didn’t know he was capable of harboring. 

“If I wanted good, I wouldn’t have married you instead.” 

He shot her a glare, understanding her reference. A growl vibrates low in his chest at the thought of the Avatar having had her before him. Desire shot through her, witnessing Zuko’s eyes flash possessively. 

As much as he wanted to take her with no resolve, he didn’t want a repeat of last time. He had some making up to do and it required all his concentration. So when he rips the barrier between his lips and her sex, Katara cries out, stunned. He lapped hungrily at her inner thighs, rotating between the left and the right. He turns circles with his tongue, biting and nibbling the sensitive flesh. He then goes in to bite her ass, hearing her squeak at the action and he laughs out loud.

“I told you to be good.”

She tastes so sweet and he’s so hard. Her disheveled state as he rolled and suckled her clit had him damn near on the edge. But he couldn’t stop. For every orgasm he failed to give her from every opportunity he had to have her was made up over and over. Katara shook and sputtered. Tears surfaced in her eyes from the mix of pain and pleasure, Zuko assaulting her every senses. 

His grip remained strong, holding her in place, even when she began to rut against his mouth. Zuko’s hips ground into the blanket in time with the way he impaled her with his tongue. Fuck, he could give her this all night- enraptured by pleasure sounds, watching her surrender so prettily as one orgasm crashed after another. He would make sure that after this, she was imprinted on every part, every crevice; her lips, her tongue, her skin, her cunt. 

Katara, in a dazed state of mind, was fixated on the stars. Her mouth agape, her hands locked and Zuko’s hair and she didn’t know if she had it in her to be overtaken by another release. 

Zuko licks his lips of her wetness, releasing Katara legs and examining her blissed filled expression. He makes an approving moan, separating her folds and lining the tip of his cock at her entrance. Katara sighs, happy to be filled again after so long without Zuko and closes her eyes in anticipation, loosening the knot holding her upper bindings and caresses her breasts.

“Look at me, Kat.” He murmurs, cupping her cheek, watching her search his face for some sort of explanation. He makes up none. “Look only at me, okay?”

“Yes.” She replies, confused by his request but stayed only on him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She’s tight. Oh so fucking tight. Zuko’s jaw clenches, spasms hitting him hard as Katara chants his name in a pure cry of lust. She’s so overly sensitive that she came apart, thighs quivering violently from another release and Zuko’s even more satisfied to have gone along with his first approach because he was damn near close already.

He bottoms out, hugging Katara flush, his face buried in her neck and breath fanning her skin. She’s warm and wet and pulsating all around him and Zuko relished in how she sucked him in so greedily. If he had known that she felt so good wrapped around his cock, he would have taken her sooner. He would have loved her sooner. He would have cherished her sooner.

He draws back his hips, slamming back into her. Zuko moves with inexperience, focusing on how and in what ways he should do this. Katara doesn’t react as vocally as before until he hooks her legs over the crease of his arms. She throws her arms around his neck, sobbing uncontrollably, both from pleasure and the relief of having her husband back.

“Don’t hurt me again.”

“I won’t.”

“Never again.”

“Never again.”

“Zuko- _Oh_ . Zuko. So close... _harder._ Fuck me harder.”

His vision blurs, grasping Katara by the neck and tilting her chin back. His lips came crashing hard on hers, holding back as long as his body would allow him as he pounds relentlessly into her with a bruising force, the slick sound of him sliding in and out of her growing loud; slapping flesh echoing in the cave. Katara clenches, arching her back in what Zuko hoped was another orgasm because he can’t hold back. His balls tighten, Zuko roaring against Katara’s lips as he cums; shuddering uncontrollably as he spills his seed deep inside her.

Zuko bows his head, embracing his wife through the afterglow, brushing back tears that had fallen during their lovemaking. She’s stunning. Everything about Katara is amazing in every aspect. She gave him everything he didn’t know he needed; companionship. 

He wanted to go home and he did. His mind is made up. Zuko knows where his place is now, even if that meant stealing it from someone else. 


End file.
